Advice needed

I’ve been on this site 3 days and it is clear there are a lot of knowledgeable people here willing to help. I have a dilemma. I went on an allen carr course in London on June 9th. I totally got it. I am a teacher living on site as rent is too expensive. I have a beautiful black lab who I run/walk with twice a day. I have a girlfriend who is lovely and we spend the weekend in each others company but she sees me more as a friend. I would like more and love her to bits. Running has always been a massive part of my life and in my attempt to get back on track I signed up for a marathon in Barcelona in March. After June 9th in had 87 days clean lost 18kg in weight and churned out a 19 min 5k. I was ecstatic. However…few days back at school Friday night and I started questioning my sobriety. Surely one wouldn’t hurt? So one night I went for it. Next day no run…just existing. Won’t do that again I thought. Wrong. Hangover wore off…same thing again…no run…girlfriend calls…Can’t remember it…football match missed it…this has been same since September 6th until 3 days ago. I drank Sunday night and got a taxi from school stinking of booze. I was chewing mints like it was going out of fashion. Arrive at airport wanting to sleep…never doing that again I said. As I approach 4 days and am withdrawing I have had 3 nights sober. I’ve been to the gym and feel great. But can’t get booze out my head. I go back on Sunday to a 2nd week of holiday alone. Girlfriend will be in London so can see her but in the evening I will get through the door and be alone. I know I’m anaesthtising myself to relieve boredom but it’s so hard not to. The only reasons I drink are loneliness and boredom. I guess the answer would be to be active but I can’t run all night or walk the dog for 7 days and nights…thoughts dear people?

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BTW. I have an allen carr booster session next Tuesday in London so if I can do a week sober before that I may see the pendulum swing towards life and health and optimism as opposed to just existing…being controlled by this drug…and seeing my hopes and aspirations being anaesthtised

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