Hello. This is my second serious attempt at sobriety and I’m scared of failing. The last time I tried I got two weeks in before falling back into old habits. I’m afraid of that happening again. I’m going to a jazz club on Friday and I’m going off my anti
-depressant due to an allergic reaction so things have the potential to go badly. I’m only 3 days in and already I feel defeated. I don’t know what I’ll do if I become depressed again. I’m trying not to lose hope so quickly but it’s hard to see a positive outcome.
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Make a plan to quit for good. When you’re ready, say the words “I will never drink again.” Pay attention to how you feel. If you are scared, panicked, angry, depressed, or feeling badly in some way, that’s the booze brain at work. And, in all honesty, you WILL feel bad at first. Your body has been operating with this chemical
Avoid those situations until your stronger. Stay with people who are doing the right thing and just worry about getting through the day that you are in it helps. I go to meetings and they are the best everyone there knows and felt what you are going through
@Liz1 Maybe cancel going to a club so early in recovery and have a relaxing night at home. We have to be willing to change people, places, and things to get sober.
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Hi @Liz1 and welcome to the forum. 
it’s good that you are being proactive and trying to avoid a lapse/relapse. In the end don’t be afraid of failing, be afraid of not trying again if you do - that matters even more.
I would recommend spending some time studying relapse prevention and how to deal with cravings. Some good resources are in these posts:
These feelings will pass. I felt the same way yesterday and today I feel totally renewed and refreshed. Stay strong at the event Friday, you can always leave or not go. Just because you feel like crap now doesnt mean you’ll always feel bad. if you go back to your old habits you’ll feel even worse for longer.
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Also on my second attempt. I think we are all afraid of failure. But a certain degree of fear is what keeps me sober. Fear of knowing that if I pick up again I will most certainly loose more than I could ever gain out of a glass/bottle. Stay 
To change our habits, we change our environs. I agree w Mel. A jazz.club may be a bad idea. I had to change activities and people and places.
After 3 years, I went to a concert at a club in Atlanta. Band I love. Saw them regularly.
Only, it didn’t appeal to me anymore. Too crowded. I didn’t like being around drunks (the height of hipocrisy I know). Still like.the band, but the stage show was about drinking and partying. Just not me anymore.
Best,
Chandler
Hi @Liz1, welcome 
Try not to think too far ahead, take one morning / afternoon and day at a time. Make a pact to yourself to think about Friday ON Friday and - if you find yourself thinking or worrying about the Jazz club before then, distract yourself!
Can I ask about your anti-depressants? You explained you are having to stop them because of a reaction… Have you got another medication lined up to try instead? If you feel you still need medication for your depression, please look into an alternative as stopping it suddenly isn’t wise and could compromise your health and mental health. There are quite nasty side effects for sudden withdrawal to most anti-depressants.
It’s good to have you here 
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I am stopping the anti-depressant under a doctor’s orders. I don’t have a replacement lined up as we are waiting for the allergic reaction to clear up first. It’s unfortunate but that’s what my doctor recommended.
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@Josie is right. Try not to worry about Friday until Friday gets here. I’ve made it through two weddings being sober and I had to catch myself many times when I was worried if I would drink or be tempted to drink. It’s hard not to worry, especially if you’re a worry wort like I am. Sometimes it will be easy to cope and sometimes not. You’ll eventually figure out the best way to handle tempting situations. I think we all have some sort of potential to relapse at any time so we have to always be careful. But worrying about how we’ll act in the future doesn’t help us today. It truly is a “one day at a time” process and way of life.
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