I’m trying so hard to not go to the store and buy alcohol. This my second day sober after breaking down and drinking again.
I had my husband take my money and cards so I couldn’t go buy any, but of course I found enough change to get a cheap bottle of wine. I am just sitting here trying so hard not to leave to buy it.
I want to be strong, I know I can be strong, but I’m just having a really hard time today
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@Florida81 it’s not about being weak or strong. Alcoholism is a mental obsession. When you put it in your body, you lose power of choice of how much you’ll continue to drink. That being said, we have a choice, as hard as it might be, to not take that first drink. Go to a meeting, start doing the work as to WHY you drink in the first place, and learn tools to help you cope and quiet down that addictive voice. There is no reason to do this alone…there’s way too many resources out there for us to not struggle alone. Give your mind and body a chance to heal. We dont know what we dont know, so start educating yourself. This will keep you busy for awhile…
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Hi @Florida81 believe me I sympathize with your struggle. I agree with what @Melrm and @Oliverjava have said here. Want to add that technically many of us here are not strong enough but still manage sobriety. It’s not about strength or weakness, but committing yourself to stopping, even if you fall along the way. It’s changing your thinking and habits. From other post, it sounds like most of your life you were not drinking, and that’s a very good thing. You can get back to that, and more.
One thing I found years ago, trying to force myself to not buy alcohol or go to bars, by limiting cash, never worked for me. It almost became another challenge! Addiction is also about the “hunting” or “scoping” instinct, so that tends to not work. I say keep the money in your pocket, and your sober toolkit in your head! Here is a good thread on early recovery:
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