Hi @Chplaserchicm and welcome to the forum. I am sorry about the loss of your mother and your personal situation. Being sober 18 days with so much is a major accomplishment. Unfortunately sober or not, life happens. But if we’re not sober, we make our own hell. This is the beauty of the “serenity prayer” - and I’m not a religious guy:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
The first few weeks can be very difficult, stay strong and get as much support/info as you can - This app/forum, reading/education, AA or other meetings, maybe an outpatient program, etc. Some useful links are found here:
Also you can personalize your profile:
See you around and stay strong!