I’ve been sober 18 days. I’m struggling with the loss of my mother in January. Not even 3 weeks after my boyfriend of 4 years leaves. I got drunk and slapped him in the face because he said it was like a prison living here. He’s been unhappy with himself for a while. I’m so angry that he left me at such a time I need him the most. And now I’m sober!!!
Help me understand.
Hi @Chplaserchicm and welcome to the forum. I am sorry about the loss of your mother and your personal situation. Being sober 18 days with so much is a major accomplishment. Unfortunately sober or not, life happens. But if we’re not sober, we make our own hell. This is the beauty of the “serenity prayer” - and I’m not a religious guy:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
The first few weeks can be very difficult, stay strong and get as much support/info as you can - This app/forum, reading/education, AA or other meetings, maybe an outpatient program, etc. Some useful links are found here:
Also you can personalize your profile:
See you around and stay strong!
I see that you are going through a tremendous growth spurt (growth happens at the hardest of times) Though it is painful beyond words, you are being shaped, molded, and strengthened into a better version of yourself. To go through so much at one time shows your potential. Very proud of you for being sober. It isn’t easy sometimes, but completely worth it. Welcome @Chplaserchicm
I am so sorry that happened to you. Can’t imagine how you are feeling right now. Breakups are so hard because we grieve the loss of someone. That paired with grieving the death of a parent sounds untenable.
If that guy can’t handle life at its hardest, he doesn’t deserve to be with you when circumstances are easy and light. Life has a way of weeding out toxic people, even if it doesn’t make sense right now. Maybe one day you’ll be thankful you saw his true colors.
Rely on the supportive people in your life who love you. Rely on us! You are not alone, and the pain will pass after some time. If you’re mad, feel it. If you need to ball your eyes out, do it. Experiencing all your emotions with a clear mind and body will help you heal better and faster.
Thank you. Trying very hard. Support is so amazing. Feeling so much love from people who don’t even know me is a blessing!!
Is it bad that I’m glad you slapped him? Grrr.
Everything in the title of your thread are things I’m working on/struggling with. I’m so sorry for your loss, but if you can get through this, anything that comes after will be cake. Stay strong and keep checking in, we’re here for you!
No its not bad haha
I’m just so overwhelmed. I don’t want anyone to be miserable. Especially someone I love so much…but it hurts so much right now. I just want the pain to stop.
I’m not suppose to grieve my mom and the loss of my spouse in the same year!!
I just wanna be normal…I feel so abnormal. I hate it. I just want him back and I don’t at the same time
I want my pain to stop. I want my tears to stop.
Overall I’m sober and doing this on my own. So at least there’s that :-/