Yes I found that it also helps me to read books and do workbooks. It opens my mind to this disease and gives me something to keep focused on. I also attend AA Meetings 3 times a week right now. I didn’t know there was a book club here. Where can I find that at ? The constant thoughts of having a drink is so depressing to me. I pray to god to take them thoughts away. 10 months wow I can’t wait till I can say I’ve been sober for 10 months or even 3 months. Congrats to you ! Thank you for your kind words !
Glad you’re here Susie. This forum has been a big help for me. I’m on 22 days after my last reset and checking daily. There are a lot of threads worth reading, a lot of wisdom and nice and helpful people on here. Share your thoughts and questions on here, there will be always somebody to talk to and we all understand each other
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Thank you I’m also glad to be here. I tried this once before but didn’t really give it much attention. So I’m back and ready to talk and get all things that’s running threw my mind out. I find that when I’m wanting a drink I come into here and talk to people and it takes the urge away for that few minutes of being here. I come in and out all threw the day and it does help me to stay focused on moving forward.
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I am by far no expert, but will always listen…and will always offer my 2 cents
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So glad you are here girl! This is a life changing decision. It can be so damn hard sometimes but it’s always worth it. I’m with @Gabe.G. I absolutely cannot control my drinking! And I absolutely cannot control who I am when I’m drinking! Sounds like you are in the same boat.
I’m close to 300 days sober and I still have a lot of days that I struggle through one minute or hour at a time. The biggest thing that makes me keep going is the thought of having to start over again and how absolutely horrible that would be! The worst!
My advice is to do whatever you can to claw your way through until things start feeling better, then never forget how hard those (these) days are. And definately keep coming back here. Keep going to meetings if they are helpful. Find an IOP if it’s possible. Get those books that @SoCalAnnie recommended (I’m going to Amazon and buying them myself). Do anything and everything. And never give up!
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Not sure where the book club. i just searched it on this site. I never thought I would make it a weekend never mind 10 months. I was so envious of everyone who could stay sober. But 1 day at a time worked for me. Some days it was one hour or minute at a time. It does get easier. Keep coming here or meetings, talking to other sober people. We are here for you.
The book says, “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who CANNOT or WILL NOT completely give themselves to this simple program.”
Just for today, I pray that you CAN and WILL. All of our paths are different and will include a number of different times in and out. When you have had enough, and are ready and WILLING to go to ANY length to get this thing called sobriety [not drinking] and recovery [a design for living], I pray that you grab hold to your Higher Power and Fellowship with desperation. If you don’t have one already, get a sponsor at the very next meeting you go to and dive into these steps as a design for living life one day at a time.
I/we love you and with the confidence in my Higher Power know that you will gain the power to overcome all outside and inside barriers to your lifetime of sobriety!
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I’ve never been able to control my drinking. It makes me so mean. And I never want my kids to look me in eye and tell me they won’t be around me or in my life if I don’t stop and get sober. That cut like a knife in my heart. And for some time they did stay away. I can never make up for the things I did to them mentally or all the apoligising I’ve done. But I sure the hell can put this way behind me day by day. Thank you so much !!
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Thank you I sure have to change the way I think. and how I say things for sure !!
And remember Susie. You can talk about ANYTHING on here. Wev all been there and dont it in one way or another. Bombard it with your thoughts and feelings if it helps. Wer all here keeping a loving and close eye on eachother. Xxx
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Thank you so much !!
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Willow just sent me this link to this book also. Thank you I’ll check it out.
I have been looking for it with no luck 
Amazon maybe?
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Amazon is my life. I don’t have time (literally!) for getting to stores. I always wonder if the postman is like, “ugh, this girl again. What is she ordering?”
Ha! I haven’t shopped in a store for Christmas gifts in years. 30 minutes on Amazon, and all my holiday shopping is done. Anniversary snuck up on me? Amazon ap. Problem solved. The Brown Santa (UPS) comes to my house more than the postal service, and I think my dogs hate the UPS guy more than the mailman.
I wish I could afford to order things off amaon as I’m a single Mom and just getting buy to pay my bills is a struggle right now
I totally get it. My mom and I have also been there. I hope things turn around for you soon. 
Hello susie! Have you ever heard of ted talks? You should listen to brene brown sje is amazing. I just graduated treatment at Deer Hollow recovery. All the work that was done there was focused on past trauma and the shame we put on our selves that keeps us stuck in our addiction. I never realized or could understand why i did all the crapy stuff i did or why i could never stop drinking or doing drugs until untill i saw my past for what it was. Trauma comes in all forms and hurts us so bad we get stuck! Thats why the 12 steps are so helpfull to do with a sponcer it jelps you get all that stuff out and see it for what it is so you can gain the power back that it holds on you. Living in shame of your past holds us all back in life! Look up brene brown. If you can get a sponcer it will change your life in such a way that you cant even imagaine. I know this because ive went through it. Im ok with me today just the way i am and i love my self and that helped me to start living a fulfilled life