Iāve been going to AA and i actually enjoy the meetings and fellowship. I was even about to ask a lady to sponsor me butā¦deep down i do not agree with or believe in the ādoctrineā of AA. It has nothing to do with the God part. Iām a Christian and i have no doubts about God. But i donāt understand what working the 12 steps has to do with drinking. I also do not believe that you will always be an alcoholic for the rest of your life. I believe that you can be delivered from addictions. My mom was a terrible alcoholic when i was a teen. And one day she just stopped because she said she got tired of living that way. That was over 30 years ago and she will occasionally drink a beer or glass of wine if going out to dinner etc but thatās it. I smoked cigarettes for 30 yrs and quit 3 yrs ago. I am no longer a nicotine addict! But, i digressā¦ My question is how can i give myself to a program when i donāt actually believe in it??? What are the alternatives? This is such a nightmare. I honestly donāt know what to do. I seem to make it about 4 days and then i end up drinking again. Iām so disgusted.
in my honest opinion, your mother was not an āalcoholicā she just liked to drinkā¦ especially if she can have one or two drinks now and call it quits consistentlyā¦ if you can just stop drinking cold turkey and just decide you donāt want it anymore, then it really isnāt a struggle like it is for the rest of us is it? I know a few guys who were sober for over 10 years and then they decided they could have just one or two, and ended up on a week long bender and back to square oneā¦ that is an alcoholic in my opinion. i dont know her story nor do i know yours, but i know there is a difference between someone who is really an alcoholic or someone who just decided to drink a lot and then quit one day out of nowhereā¦ You need to decide which side you are on. anyways, there are lots of alternatives to a.a. One program is called āSMART Recovery.ā http://www.smartrecovery.org/ https://www.smartrecovery.org/local/ theres a few links to their website. Im sure you can search some meetings in and around your area. im sure other people will give you other alternatives as well, but thats one i know a lot of people go to when they dont want to go through the steps of A.A.
I also was not a huge fan of AA. To this day, I still cannot stand The Big Book. But I have found great support and joy in the fellowship of people just like me. A good place to start if you believe that you are like your mother, is just stop. Try it on your own. If you fail, admit you need help from others. The 12 steps of AA are a great foundation for working through any issue in life, whether you are in AA or not. When I have an issue with my daughter, I can break it down. Admit the issue and what I have control over. Give it up to God. Think how my character traits have affected the situation and admit it. Ask for forgiveness for my part. Continue to reflect in hopes of preventing a repeat issue. As for being able to drink down the line? Personally for me, why would I want to? The peace and serenity that is gained in sobriety is much better than an occasional glass of wine.
My mom was definitely an alcoholic. She crashed cars, came home drunk sobbing all the timeā¦ Brought home stray animals. Puked her guts out all the time. Thatās what Iām talking about. You say she wasnāt a real alcoholic then and that is because that is what AA teaches and i do not believe their teaching. Twenty years ago i became a crack addict. I lost every thing i had and was homeless. After six months i decided i didnāt want to live that way. I asked God to deliver me and he did. I can assure you that i am no longer a crack addict. I do not believe twelve step doctrine which is the whole point of my post.
My response had nothing to do with what A.A teachesā¦ I gave you MY opinion on what an alcoholic is and then gave you some alternatives to a.a like you asked forā¦ if it is so easy to just stop because you asked god to help you, then why cant you do the same with alcohol?
It bothers me that they treat the big book as if it were scriptureā¦ Anyhow what i hear all the time in AA is that it wonāt work unless you āget a sponsor and work the stepsā ā¦ So if that is true then it seems like just attending meetings would be a waste of time because they say you cannot ārecoverā like that. See what i mean?
Since @Steve92 covered part of what I wanted to address 
(and did it quite nicely), Iāll answer to your response as to what the steps have to do with drinking. The aim is for us to see that our thoughts are ego driven, to work through the baggage that causes you to go back to drinking in the first place (anger, fear, resentments, ego), how weāve hurt people and to make amends, to quit being selfish and help others, to focus on all the things outside of drinking that will keep you sober. It may not make since to you but it works. Abstaining isnāt enough and will lead you right back out (like it did for you). Recovery is much more than not drinking.
heres a few other recovery programs that do not evolve around the ā12 Stepsā. http://www.celebraterecovery.com/ http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/
http://www.sossobriety.org/
That is my dilemmaā¦ i donāt know why itās different. Probably because Iāve been doing it since i was 14.
Are there people on this forum who are involved in those groups do u know?
heres one more link for you
I suppose i will research on these different groupsā¦ i wonder if they are fairly successful?
I guess you can only find that out if you give them a try yourself. I go to a variety of different groups because im trying to focus my life around sobriety right now. I go to aa, quad a, trying to get to a smart meeting thats close to me one day this summer, and im starting classes in the fall to become a certified addictions counselor. i also play on a sober softball league on sunday morningsā¦ Everybody is different, and i agree, there is MORE THAN ONE WAY to get sober and A.A is definitely not your only option 
do your research, try different things. Meet sober friends and have fun without the booz. One thing is constant throughout every program however, we have to put some effort in our sobriety in order to get anything out of it.
I have been sober for almost 10 years, and I know what has worked for me. I donāt drink, one day at time. I try to get to meetings, and I talk to other alcoholics. Right now I am working on the 4th step but having some problems. We make a list of people we have resentments towards right? Well, this time around Iām having trouble thinking of anyone I resent. Thatās a good thing. The first time I did this my list had about 8 people! I have come a long way. And now tomorrow is my belly button birthday of which I will turn 56, but then the next day will be my Sobriety Anniversary of 10 years! I am a miracle!
Thanks, i will look into this.
If you do not care for traditional 12 step programs, then choose another route of recovery. I do not believe there is only one path in recovery. I struggled for a long time with programs that I felt were telling me what to do. But my journey has taught me about codependency and my extreme need for control. Admitting my life was unmanageable and beyond my control was an important part of my process. But my path does not need to be yours. I do think I would never succeed if I were in a program I did not believe in and was unwilling to work. The most important thing for me is to have people around me that support me and understand my struggle. If I could have done this alone, Iād remember alot more of the last 20 years. Only you can choose what works for you. And I think sobriety will not be achieved unless someone is 100% committed to it. You are not alone in your struggle.
Susie_Best55, I love the term "belly button birthday. You are indeed a miracle. āMany Happy Returnsā and many congratulations 