How many times have I done this? Too many to count. But for what? Or for who? This time is for me. I used to get jealous of happy families with cute houses and say “you’ll never have that”. I was being honest with myself but not honest about why. I am slowly losing everything and I’m tired of it. I have pointed fingers and made excuses for years. I’ve realized that only works to keep me in my addiction. I will not have anything, including my life, if I am a practicing drunk. Some days I’m ok with that and I wish the bottle would consume me for good. But deep inside I know that’s not what I really want. I want a life. The life I’ve decided I want will take work. The first step is getting sober. That starts today. I will no longer make excuses or place blame. I will take responsibility and recognize that I can only do this for me. I can’t use other people to get drunk and I can’t use other people to get clean. It’s all my choice and today I make the choice to get sober. Today I made the choice to be sober and tomorrow I will have to make another choice. But at least I can say I made the choice. Not anyone else. Day one.
Hey funky I’m ed, thank you for your story, today I’m 36 days clean and it’s the longest clean time I’ve ever had, I was a man of many relapses and excuses, I always looked for an outside solution to fix an inside problem, just know things get better, no one can make you get sober, that is up to you and god, the first couple weeks are rough but I swear it gets better just believe and ask for gods help, I hope you get through this because a life beyond a wildest dreams is waiting for you, god bless
Hey! , there is so much truth in all you just said. Reading you also makes me want to stay strong in my sobriety even more. We will go through this , and we’ll be able to pursue the life we want and deserve. You are not alone , we can do this!
Much love to you 
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Day one again. Wish I could just get motivated. Anyone know how long it takes to change a habit, or develop a new one? My problem really is habit.
About 20 days if your mindset is right!
What exactly are you doing to help?
Though ultimately you are the one that has to just say no to yourself.
Hi geo. I just need to get myself motivated. So setting a date to stop on Saturday. I need to give myself a kick up the backside. If I don’t have the first drink… it’s that simple. I will do it
Simple, but hard. What is your plan? Rehab? Outpatient? SMART? Therapy? Counseling? Medication? AA? Refuge Recovery? Celebrate Recovery? Women For Sobriety? There’s many options if you are willing to do the work.
I’m not good around people got mental health issues, so do it on my own. I have done it before, but always end up going back to the booze eventually.
Plenty of 1 on 1 counseling available with people who specializes in addiction
Ok just a quick question. You say you’ve done it before but you keep going back to the booze.
So… You haven’t done it before have you.
I hope that’s not come across too harsh, but if what you were doing worked, you wouldn’t keep picking up.
Yes I understand you have issues, don’t we all?
Again sorry, but I get upset when people keep coming back and saying oh I’m not going to do this or that because of this or that.
If what you are doing is not working, you need to up your game, yes?
Yes you are right. 
@Kasey. How are you doing? If you wanna talk don’t be afraid to pm someone! You don’t have to do this alone
Hi, I’m ok thanks. Just trying to get my head around doing this. I guess I just need to decide how much I want to do it. I appreciate everyone on here and the support. I keep asking myself is it really a problem? Can’t I learn to control how much I drink? Am I ready? And so on.
I hear ya!
Let me guess some of the things you are thinking about.
Do I think I can just drink socially
What about celebrations, birthdays etc
Am I really not going to drink again, ever?!
It took me 2 years from when I admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic, to sorting all this in my head.
Just remember
If you’re here asking yourself these questions then I’d say yes there is a problem.
If you weren’t worried about your drinking, then you wouldn’t be here.
Don’t worry about the future. Just one day at a time, by the time the future comes, you’ll be enjoying yourself too much to think about it. Believe me, it was the best thing I did. I’ve just had my first sober birthday, didn’t even think about drinking.
Take care, you know where we are.
Thank you so much, sounds like I am at where you were a year ago. Congratulations it’s great that you’ve cracked it, you must feel amazing. Right now I can’t even imagine what it would be like to not drink for a year. Guess that’s where the one day at a time comes in. Thanks again for the support.
So don’t even try to imagine. Don’t think about it. It’s not happened yet. Yes that’s why it’s one day at a time!
It took me 4 months of trying before I finally looked my sponsor in the eyes and promised I would quit. I couldn’t do it on my own steam. I had to do it through the relationships I made with the other women in recovery in AA. They unconditionally supported me, which is what the program is all about. I was resentful too about what others had and I didn’t. I have a daughter with special needs and her twin brother, who is very gifted. I saw other families who didn’t have to deal with the special needs issues. They had more freedom than me, got to travel more, had a “normal” future to look forward to for their children, etc.
If you can go to some meetings, it might work well for you. As they say, “keep coming back” and “stay until the miracle happens!” I’m 2 yrs 8 month sober. You can do this!
Thanks all for taking the time to help and encourage me. Today I am going to be sober, I am going to do it!
Thank you. 