Fatty livers, booze and blackouts

Hi everyone,

Iā€™m finding it hard to cut out alcohol completely. I was diagnosed with a fatty liver and warned that if I kept drinking at my current level it would continue to progress. My husband was right there with me and had the same diagnosis. He is having a much easier time staying sober. I however, constantly find myself trying to sneak ā€œjust one drinkā€. Just one drink usually turns out to be me filling a wine glass as much as I can with it still being one glass.

My history with drinking is 10 years of heavy drinking and most recently over the past few years blacking out and making a total a-hole of myself. I still want to crawl into a hole and die when I think of things Iā€™ve said, or been told Ive said, when drinking. My 29th and 30th birthdays were some how WAY more out of control than my 21st! My mother is an alcoholic and I just would like my 30ā€™s to be booze and blackout free! Iā€™d also like to have kids and keep my liver in tact. I donā€™t think I realized how intense the cravings would be. I have all the reasons in the world to never drink again but I get 5 days max into being sober and am dying for a drink again.

This is my first post so I guess Iā€™m just looking for tips and general things that have helped you all get clean. Iā€™m tying to keep in mind that itā€™s a daily battle and that relapses and tricking yourself back into drinking are common in the beginning.

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Welcome @Thetrufflequeen! Here are some things that have worked for me:

Those are all great reasons for wanting to quit. The beginning can be rough but it does get easier! You can do this! :blush:

Hi @Thetrufflequeen welcome to the forum! Iā€™m a 30 year old blackout binge drinker facing my addiction for the first real time in my life.
I thought I could try moderation but I just canā€™t. In the past few years one drink almost always led to sneaking drinks until I blacked out and embarrassed myself severely.
My cravings were out of control too even though I wasnā€™t a daily drinker. They lessened after about 35 days sober and now Iā€™m trying to get over the junk food cravings too.
Itā€™s a process. Be ready. Like they say in AA "remember that we deal with Alcohol- cunning, baffling, powerful. Without help it is too much for us."
So pull out the tools! Use this forum, find an AA group that works for you, get a therapist if you have the means. If you hate ā€œgod talkā€ change your thinkingā€¦itā€™s just a 3 letter word, it doesnā€™t have to mean anything.
Itā€™s the support thatā€™s kept me sober.
I thought it would be smooth sailing for me after 52 days and then I went on a work trip, had a few drinks and blacked out.
You can do this and stay sober if youā€™re willing to ride it out and work daily!
Good luck!
:heartpulse:

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A work friend of mine lost her boyfriend last year around November to liver failure. They were both told in advance of their fatty livers / health issues by their doctors. She, on the other hand still drinks. She also works in the medical field. They are / were in their 40ā€™s.

I also have a Facebook ā€œfriendā€ā€¦ when I was playing out in my band, we would network with other bands via Facebook. Anyway, just 2 months ago his fiancee died of liver failure as well. She was 38. She spent her last 10 days or so in the hospital.

Long story short, this isnā€™t something to play with. Once you reach a certain point, thatā€™s it. Thereā€™s no turning back. No one more chance etc.

You mentioned that youā€™re sneaking drinks. If itā€™s in your house, toss itā€¦ first step.

You know the possible outcome. You were told by your doctor. Itā€™s up to you at this point to decide how you want to spend the rest of your life.

Good luck.

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Thatā€™s my boy @Ace1 being bluntly and truthfully honest. If you think it will get better, it wonā€™t. If you feel sneaking little drinks wonā€™t turn back into heavy binge drinking again, youā€™re wrong. Iā€™m dealing with the same stuff right now. I went from 52 days proudly sober, to drinking daily again in excess. Sure, my failing marriage was a perfect excuse to let my booze brain take over, but I sure wish Iā€™d have dealt with it differently. For me, itā€™s time to get back to that sober, happy place I was over two months ago. You can as well.

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@Thetrufflequeen There isnā€™t an easier, softer way to get sober. Youā€™ll have to walk through the intense cravings and obsessive thinking just like we all did. Youā€™ll have to put the work in to find your triggers and really know why you drink in the first place. There shouldnā€™t be any alcohol in your homeā€¦itā€™s time to clean houseā€¦literally. Look into a recovery program that will keep you accountable, to learn the tools to live effectively, to meet new people walking the same journey. Itā€™s not easy at first, but itā€™s completely worth it.

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Thanks everyone Bluntness is appreciated.

Even if/ when the fat in the liver clears up, (which apparently it can pretty quickly at this stage), my fear is that Iā€™d be back to drinking right away and even harder than before.
A few friends have cut back and cleared the fat in their livers up rather quickly and returned to normal, social drinking of maybe a few beers per week.
My relationship with alcohol simply isnā€™t that way.
The best and only decision for me is to give it up now, and for good. Not ā€œnext timeā€ when Iā€™m sure to have even bigger, irreversible problems.

I guess itā€™s just been sad to admit what I have is a real problem.

Iā€™m thankful I found this community :slight_smile:

@Thetrufflequeen, have you tried supplements with easing off cravings? . Before starting my ā€˜regimeā€™ i recall having active urges to drink, i couldnt last more than 5 days, i had this empty but heavy feeling in my stomach which was unbearable until i filled it with drink?. Not to mention loss of interest in everyday things. Its a vicious cycle! Taurine capsules were god send, it eased off my anxiety! 5 htpt helped me sleep and l-glutamine eased off cravings. I also took b complex, vit c, magnesium and calcium- all of them above recommended daily allowance (especially niacin) . Also i had lots of good fat- avocado a day, seeds and nuts (2 handfulls of cashew nuts everyday- excellent for depression) . I used a book called ā€˜how to quit without feeling shitā€™. It also includes section in self care such as reconnecting with society etc. Good luck with your recovery. :slight_smile:

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Hey there @Thetrufflequeen - know that you can and will get past those 5 days. I know the struggle and itā€™s the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It takes months to break a habit that takes days to create. I found this group so helpful in the early days and visited about 10 times a day!! You need an artillery of things around you when you are thinking of reaching for that ā€œvery full glass of wineā€ :grimacing: (a clear bucket with a stem, right?!)
My artillery
*this group and re reading my first ever post
*a bath
*snacks - all the snacks in the world
*exercise (free work out videos on YouTube - try Fitness Blender!)
*leaving the house and walking somewhere
*making a really complicated dinner
*doing something nice for yourself because you deserve it and are doing a difficult but not impossible thing.

Wishing you the best in your recovery xx

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