So. 50 days here. Don’t get me wrong. Right now i really don’t feel like drinking. But I feel the eventual relapse will happen. That at some point i will get bored and want to go out to a bar again. That i will want to drink. I guess I haven’t still really made peace with being sober all the time, forever… Well, i will continue as for now and see what life will bring me. But if it doesn’t bring me something soon, i am scared i will go back to my old ways 
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Iv been feeling the same way. I guess we just have to power through it at this point. I made some decisions tonight that were red flags that I should be extra careful from now on. I ended up smoking a few cigarettes at a party and that craving for booz hit me like a brick wall. Right now I’m just drinking some tea at home and just hoping for the best.
I was wondering if you attend AA meetings? I have only been to 2 so far but I like the idea of them. There’s also some people who have been sober for decades so their wisdom is especially valuable I feel. I just think its a good place to go when the cravings get too big, just to get some perspective.
But yeah, i went to a concert 2 weeks ago and wanted to have a drink quite bad. Today, i am glad I didn’t, because I am quite sure id be having a hangover this very moment. Ugh. Just have to learn how to enjoy ourelves without the drink! I will not drink today, that’s for sure at least.
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Yes I go to a.a 4 times a week. While I don’t agree with everything they say it is definitely a great way to meet sober people and get great advice. I reached out to my sponsor at least 4 times this last week wen iv really wanted a drink. It’s helpful to me that’s for sure and it can’t hurt to give it a solid try
Ok, good to hear you’re getting some help “in real life” also 
i think its normal to disagree with some points, but at the end of the day, we’re all just people trying to stay sober
Off topic but Jesus. I am watching a random horse racing news tidbit on TV. And there’s champagne everywhere. I keep noticing alcohol everywhere these days. Its crazy how normalised drinking is in this society! But only the “normal” drinking, you know. If you drink too much, you’re a worthless drunk.
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Ya I seem to notice every single bottle of liquor I see in TV now and find myself fantasizing about how great it would be to be “normal” but we aren’t like them we are special because we don’t need alcohol anymore to live a successful and happy life 
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This may sound harsh…Your thoughts become your reality. So if you think you’ll relapse, you’ve already mentally relapsed. Don’t allow your ego and addict brain run the show. Sobriety isn’t punishment…there’s a beautiful life to be had beyond not drinking. It takes work and you have to be willing to do that for yourself.
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Yeah i understand the way i worded it made it sound like i ma not working on it. I am, actually. Making new habits and trying to change my thought patterns. Guess i am just afraid of letting go completely though and still hold onto a lingering “one day i will drink again” thought. I don’t even know how to describe it.
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@Laualamp now I totally get what you’re saying. I get that fear sometimes because I don’t want all the good things to be taken away from me that sobriety has given. It gets easier over time but we will always have to protect our sobriety and not get complacent. To keep it fresh over time, it’s good to set new goals for ourselves.
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Thanks. I guess it’s just me losing focus. I know what will happen if I start drinking again. Had a horrible relapse dream tonight. This is not what i want. I will remain sober and give it more time. My promise was actually to make it through 2017 sober, to compare sober 2017 to the always-drinking-2016 and see which one was more fun. Concerning mental health, 2017 is already winning. And I will continue to see how it rolls out.
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I go to meetings regularly as well, and like @Steve92 said, you don’t necessarily have to agree with everything said in them. It’s nice having real life support in addition to this forum.
@Laualamp But anywho, I feel like I know where you’re coming from. I haven’t made peace with the “forever” idea either. I think I’m still holding onto the idea that I’m smarter than all y’all and will beat this one day. Pfft.
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