Hi @Ggowguy and welcome to the forum. 
Thanks for sharing your situation. You should try and face it head on with a clear head.
If you have committed to stopping, it is the most important decision of your life. 
Start with all the support you can get - this forum, AA or other meetings, an outpatient/inpatient program, reading and videos. There is so much out there! But it has to come from within you - it will not be easy.
Here is a useful thread on getting through early recovery: