Im Holly ill have 10 days sober tomorrow i started drinking about 6 years ago when i started taking care of my boyfriends mother who had had a stroke. I was with her 24/7 but i also drank for a lot of that time. I am very ashamed of that but i still did the best i could taking care of her she passed away 12/26/13. And my drinking just got worse i will admit i did try to stop but it didnt last i always found an excuse again. My drinking also caused alot of problems with my boyfriend i was always being stupid and messing up cause of it and he almost left me this was about 11 months ago so i finally decided to stop it lasted about a good 3 months it was great we were finally happy and getting a long aside from a few minor technicalitiesā¦ One good is we had just won a lawsuit from suing a rehab that his mother was in for s wrongful death suit 3 days later our house burnt down and we had to live in s hotel during those 3 months i was sober. And do to all his āstressā he started hitting the bottle hard and i wish i had noticed in that something was wrong. But on February 4th he ended up having a stroke which paralyzed him and took away his speech. From that day on my life fell apart as soon as i left the hospital that night the first thing i did was get a bottle. And ive been on a bender since. And now my boyfriend is my ex not by choice but because i picked up that damn bottle again iām not allowed to see him his family wont let me. Alcohol has ruined my life it has taken the most important thing in the world to me away and now im ready to try and take it back even if i cant get him back at least i know i did this for me and i know he would be proud thats all he ever wanted for me. So my advice is to anyone who is struggling with alcohol is that its not worth losing everything for. So rid yourself of it now it will kill you and honestly losing the people you love and care about is worse than death to me thats why im stopping now im 27 years old my life is far from over and i believe that for anyone going through this struggle. We are strong and we can do this!
Hiya @queencarole, hang in there. Iām a 40 yr old wine addict!! I did 18 days clean, drank a whole bottle, felt terrrrrrrrrrrible and vowed never to drink againā¦ that was a week agoā¦ we can do this x
Congratulations on 156 days thatās fantastic keep doing what your doing 
Hi. Iām Joe and I turned 40 this year. I have always enjoyed a drink with friends or alone, and alcohol has always been a big factor in my social life.
Lately Iāve been drinking more. I donāt drink everyday but itās becoming more frequent and the amounts are increasing.
I guess I see it as an escape. I have two young kids, a full time job and several other things going on which have all attributed to increased stress levels of late.
I thought it would be good to open up on here. My last drink was on Saturday night, and Iād really like to give myself a good break from it and maybe try to understand why I drink so much when I do decide to have a couple.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Hello, Iām Pheric and Iām a sex/porn addict.
I got hooked on porn at a very young age and started mastubating as a way of dealing with the stresses of life ( parents fighting, being called names and being over weight, not having many friends, etc.).
I got married and part of me hoped that having someone I could have sex with would help, but I quickly learned that not only did I still have the cravings, but my ex didnāt like sex, or really any intimacy if it was at all physical. I actually turned to porn more often because she didnāt want sex, and I didnāt want to make her feel like she needed to please me. My ex and I talked, and she said that maybe if I found someone online to talk with it might help with the urges. Well, I did and it kinda helped, but I think it backfired on us, because shortly after meeting this person online, my ex started feeling depressed and sad. I tried to fix it but I never found out what she was sad about (she wouldnāt tell me when I asked)
This is a big oversimplification, but she left me and later told me it was because I was a sex addict. That plenty of couples are happy living without sex. And while Iām sure there are some out there, I didnāt feel like it was the majority.
But even if I didnāt agree with everything she said, I did feel like I was addicted to porn and sex/mastrubation. It was my go to when life was unfair or hard.
But Iām LDS (mormon) and I know the damage porn can do. And I need/want to get my life in order before I try and find a new love.
Iām not sure if this is too much info, or not the right place for it, But it looks like this is a place for people that are having a hard time and need support, and that is me.
Iām about 2 hours short of a full day sober, and itās really hard.
Thanks for reading
-Pheric
Hi everyone, my name is Kelsi and I have an alcohol addiction.
Iām really just coming to terms with it after years of abusing it, my real turning point was after a suicide attempt in February after having a bottle of wine.
I also have self harming tendencies and an eating disorder, but for now those are under control and the issue I want to focus on currently is my alcoholism.
Alcoholism runs in my family, thereās no denying that. I never wanted to admit that Iām an alcoholic, āI have controlā, āI can stop whenever I wantā, āIām not like my cousināā¦ I have come to realize that while I may not have gotten as bad as ny cousin (she nearly died on several occassions), I still have an addition that I need to keep in check.
I donāt like who I am when I drink, I become very volatile and a terrible, manipulative person.
What Iām having trouble with right now is just not having that one beer with dinner. I love beer.
The issue is, Iāll have the one, and that little addiction demon says, āyou can have another, it wonāt hurt ya!ā And so the cycle continues.
The binge drinking is mostly under control right now, Iām just having trouble saying goodbye to it for good. This is the umpteenth time Iāve tried to get sober from alcohol since February and I guess I just need some support.
Thanks for listening guys 
Stay strong.
Hey, welcome!
While i might have a different addiction, i totally understand the whole ājust oneā mind set.
I wish you the best of luck and success.
Keep strong and know that no beer will taste as good as knowing you are still holding on to the you you like.
Ttfn
Hey guys.
My name is Miguel. Im 31, born and raised in Chicago, IL, USA. My problem is alcohol. Im a binger, been doin it since I was 18. Ive never really told this problem to anyone. Well I tried telling my parents but they dismissed it as a āphase.ā I wish that was the case. Ive been sober 2 days since my last āepisode.ā
I have had great stretches in life but alcohol always screwed it up. I was great at hiding the problem. Even when i lived with my ex girl. I would hide bottles everywhere. I remember mom calling me one day in my early 20ās (years after i had moved out of my parents) and telling she found 2 garbage bags full of empty beer, vodka bottles. Blamed it on āparties.ā I have gotten 3 DUIās (never hit anything,anyone) and have done prison time. Ive had my own business and had a great career in sales, all ruined by my drinking habits. Had a great girl for 5 years and that was ruined as well.
Life right is not easy. In hiding my problem I have isolated myself from family, friends, and girlfriends. So there are some lonely times, more than I would like. Im understanding that its going to take a lot strength and fortitude to get back on my feet. Im hoping im tapping into a great resource (this app)to help me get through this. I do have difficulty being open, just not my thing. This setting makes it easier for me. Thanks guys.
Miguel
P.S.
In job hunting with a felony, the food and service industry. I fortunately havent had trouble staying employed since ive been out. Im a waiter and cash flow us good right now. So look there first.
Good luck
Hello. Iāve just joined today. Call myself Trix online. Literally on my 2nd day attempting to quit alcohol after 6 years completely dependent. Started after the birth of my son in order to sleep and then as a coping mechanism for my anxiety. Itās culminated in me being caught drinking at work and facing a serious disciplinary.
Had the shakes and sweats really bad so far and really tired and hungry but canāt face food and just canāt fall asleep. Really want a drink
Hello!I donāt feel comfortable saying my name on here but I will tell my story.
Im 25 years old, recently married woman.
When I was 12 years old I remember stealing beer cans from my parents super bowl party and hiding it under my bed. When I finally got around to drinking it, it was disguisting. Being the rebellious soul I am, I continued to steal beer whenever my parents had a party and drink it.My mother caught me but that didnāt stop me.I remember taking niquil and drinking a beer I stole just to feel something. This was probably a total of 2 times a year until I met a girl who was into the same things around my senior year in highschool.We drank half my parents 24 case and filled it with water (stupid I know). I got caught. This continued to be a pattern of mine.
Anyway fast forward to my actual party years starting at age 19, I realized how much I loved alcohol, it made me feel comfortable and cool when I am usually very awkward.
I mostly blacked out or got so drunk I barely remembered parts.I could never hold my own, or stop myself from drinking more and more.I almost always get in a fight and alot of times I would sleep with some random guy or wake up somewhere with strangers.Ive even drank at work over the years.
In recent years when no one has wanted to drink I have drank alone. Til finally I realized I would rather drink alone most of the time, lying about how much Iāve had of course if anyone asked.Hiding bottlesā¦finding them later.Id say I drank about 2 to 4 days a week excessively each time.
Today I am 10 days sober.
Iāll tell you about my last drink.
I spent my day off at the beach, bought two tall ciders put them in a water bottle.I got in an argument with my husband. Drove along the coast.Decided I was going to buy more alcohol and get drunk at home.I had a cider, and an IPA. On my way home I decided to buy a 6 pack of blue moonā¦just incase.This is how I think once I have even 1 beer in me.Gotta get more just incase I run out.
I woke up the next morning vaguely remembering hiding the blue moon and when I went to find it they were all gone as well as everything else.when I finally found the bottles they were hidden in my dresser, some in my dogs bedā¦I had a horrible hangover.
Something in me clicked and I realized, I canāt do this anymoreā¦my health is suffering, it has affected my relationships, and made me hate myself.
I deserve a healthy life, and a good marriage
Im also an alcoholic and should never drink again.
Hello,
My name is Chase amd I grew up in a suburb of Green Bay before moving to Minneapolis for college. I jad a very traumatic experience in my Junior year of high school and the entire high school found out about it. I kept what really happened to myself becaise I knew it would break my motherās heart.
My sophmore year of college a very similar incident happened to me, and again I kept it to myself. Iny mind it felt like a fair trade off to live with the pain and depression that stemmed from this if it meant saving my family from dealing with the pain and suffering that i was experiencing.
Last year I started smoking crystal meth to cope with everything that i had kept to myself over the last 10 years. I started out slow, maybe once a month. After the third month it became every other week, once a week, twice a week, before i knew it I was going days at a time. I lost my job. My āfriendā stole 3,000 dollars from me. In mid-June I held against my will and drugged against my will. That was my first experience with shooting up. Fortunately, I was able to escape but I never reported it to police because I was using and I felt liley life was in danger if I did.
That is when I tried to stop using on my own. I was sober for 2 weeks, had gotten another job, and it looked like I would make it on my own. On my birthday, the day before I started my new job, I rear ended someone in traffic. Everyone was fine, I wasnāt using, but it was too much. I ended up at a friends house, he is a nurse. He taught me how to shoot up as safely as possible. I was doung well at work but would take the bus to my friendās house afterwards to shoot up. I didnt care anymore and I didnāt want to feel anythimg other than tge rush of euphoria that I was always trying to replicate.
I knew i was out of control and needed help when I shot up at work, then crashed afterwards for 16 hours. I missed my following shift. I quit my job for health reasons but I couldnt stop slamming Meth. On Aug. 2, I purposely slammed meth when I knew that my parents were comimg to see me. They caught me high as a kite and brought me to the emergency room.
That was the last time I used meth. Since then my parents have helped me clean up my mess of an apartment, kicked my roommate put of my apartment (he would use with me), helped me with my finances (used to have a down payment for a house in savings, now i have 300 dollars), turns out my car was totaled, they helped me thrpugh my withdrawal symptoms (extremely paranoid, tired, and plotting to run away and live on the streets for more meth), drive me to doctorās appointments, and making me see that there is life after meth.
I have been clean and sober for 21 days, and am living with my parents until a bed opens up at my chosen rehab in Minnesota. The call could come through as I am writing this. When my parents found me I was malnourished and weighed 170, I am 6ā6". I weighed myself today and I am 201.2 lbs. My hair stopped falling out, none of my clothes (even my skinny clothes) fit, i need a belt for everything I own. However they helped save my life. I still find myself looking for a good vein to use, but then I come here and the cravings go away. At first my family was angry with me because they thought that I was spoiled and entitled, and that I chose drugs for recreation and to hurt them. Now they know that I was using to ease my pain. Each person in my life has said that I was the last person they had ever expected to use drugs. I lied to those that I love every day for 10 years and I was an exceptional liar.
I am thankful that I have the support of my family amd friends, but, even more so, I am thankful for the support of this community. This community understands what I am going through because we all have an addiction and we all want to stay clean and sober.
Thank you so much, and I wish everyone here the best.
I can relate to all here. Started drinking at a very young age continuing most my life. I binge drink. Will drink for 3, 4, 5 days until i physically and mentally canāt take it. Once i stop i fall into deep depression and unable to sleep for 2 or 3 days. Then day 4, 5, 6 i repeat this pattern. I have been arrested, into fights, losing keys snd wallet, not remember how i got home or where my vehicle is if itās not at home, woke up in the bed of my truckā¦i could go on and on. Ive had too many passes and i know if this behavior continues, i will lose everything. So, im getting control of my life and it will be without alcohol. We all have the power inside is to overcome anything we want. Hang in there and stay strong! 
@CMethSlammer Thanks for having the courage to share your story. Iām glad you have your parents for support, that always helps! Congratulations on 21 days! 
I love this app too!
Itās great we can all come together & encourage one another! We are true survivors wanting a better life & that says a lot of ones character! Hang in there & good luck with rehab! Blessings to you! 
I am clean? Have been clean for over a year. So i do not understand your reply at allā¦
@Soberlife05 It is official, my admission date for rehab is this Friday. My father will be driving me up to Minneapolis tomorrow (5 hour drive) to help me get my affairs in order. Staying the night at my apartment, and checking myself in the following day. I will let you know when I am out (end of September)!
@CMethSlammer - Best wishes to youā¦ rehab was the making of my sobriety, but not the be all and end all! Use the opportunity wisely and youāll have a life beyond your wildest dreams!
Good luck @CMethSlammer! I can tell you really want this. Youāre lucky to have caring parents and such a wonderful opportunity to get & stay clean. Best of luck to you!
@CMethSlammer Thatās really awesome to hear! Weāll be here waiting for you when you get back!!! Congratulations on getting admitted & your determination to stay focus!!! Iām proud of you! Will be praying for you! 
Blessings on your new journey! Much love & hugs! 
Hi my name is Dylan. Iām 38 years old and I have struggled with various addictions throughout my life.
Iāve always liked drinking and I can remember frome an early age, 17 or so I guess, my mother telling me that āif drinking causes problems then youāve got a drinking problem.ā. Although I dismissed this at the time it has proved to be wise words and itās taken a very long time for me to admit to myself that Iāve got a problem.
Yes Iāve agreed when my partner, now my wife, said that she thought I had a problem and that I should seek help. Yes Iāve known that this is a problem I should face up to. Ve always been to scared to face up to it because deep down my drinking and my valium and my tramadol and weed is just some thing that I hide behind.
I have now sought help. I have been truly honest with my wife and have told my parents. I am ready to change but the truth is that I am terrified of what life without any of my vices will be like.
Time to face up. Time to stop making bad decisions. And the truth is that I have chosen to make bad decisions for myself.
Hereās to the journey, hereās to my life back. Hereās to being sober. Cheers!