Im Darby. Raised in a very small town in Missouri. Just to show how small…i graduated high school in a class of 8.
I remember drinking at a very young age. Was drawn to it for some reason. My mother used to say, “watch out for alcohol because both your grandfather’s are alcoholics”. I didn’t listen much. Was involved with numerous drugs thru the 90’s but alcohol was the one that stuck. My longest period of sobriety was 10 months in 2015. Almost a year ago i started again. I thought i had it under control but i was wrong. So here i am. I really like this app and it’s helpful for me. Thanks to all of you.
7 Likes
This app is great and the people are so supportive! Good luck on your journey 
3 Likes
@Darby Yeah I know what you mean! Same story here. I was sober for 9months in 2015 and thought I had it under control… I was wrong! Here I am starting fresh again with 1 month of sobriety!!! United we can conquer our addictions! Stay strong! 
3 Likes
Hello, my name is Brandi. I’m 25 years old, engaged, three cats, one dog and I have an alcohol problem. I’ve drank to extreme since I was 17 years old. The longest I can remember being sober is 11 days. That was last year.
This year has been the worst and most challenging of my life. Because of this I know it’s time for me to get past this addiction. I was severely depressed from 15-17, I can feel the darkness creeping up on me again. It’s time for me to make a change. A major change.
In January my grandmother passed away. I watched her code and then they resuscitated her. When the nurses and doctors tell you to leave the room, you should leave. I’m trained in CPR myself but seeing it performed on a relative and hearing your mother pleading to God to save her mom is a memory that will never leave my mind. My grandmother lasted through the next day and passed that evening. My grandma was such a free spirit and did not have a filter. She was such a loving and hilarious woman. I miss her so much everyday.
In June my best friend passed away unexpectedly on her 24th birthday, from a upper GI bleed and a lower intestine ruptured. She didn’t have the best family life and didn’t have many people to look up to. She was lying alone on the bathroom floor in pain for possibly hours while she became jaundice and lost brain activity. This girl was my best friend. She was alone and in pain and no one in her family (New York) cared to walk up the stairs to check on her. I’m not passing blame I’m just angry. I’ve known her since I was 13 and her family didn’t respond to my text messages or phone calls. Luckily her father (Oklahoma) who raised her invited me and my fiance to a service that they put together in her home town, asked us to speak in her memory. She would have been so shocked and proud that I got my anxiety ridden ass up in front of all of those people and spoke. I miss this girl to pieces. Damn could we drink together…Vodka was our poison. She had an alcohol problem as well and was in recovery. Her family (New York) decided against an autopsy and chalked it up to her alcohol problem. They found 7 empty vodka bottles under her bed and assumed that’s why she passed. Okay, me and her were tanks but no one can drink that much and not vomit. I just feel like she wasn’t honored in her passing.
Two weeks after her passing we had to put our rescue dog to sleep. He was 15 years old and was neglected, aggressive, and forgotten about. I was laughed at because I was determined to rehabilitate this dog…guess who did! Blue was such a sweet loving boy. He just needed attention and patience. He was never vaccinated as a puppy so he had heart worms, a heart murmur, and excessive fluid it his abdomen that gave him a barrel like appearance. We watched for all the signs that the vet warned us about to tell when it was his time. None of the signs ever came. It became really hot one day and you could just tell his heart was working overtime. We made the call and he was finally pain free.
This year has been extremely rough. I want to make my grandmother and best friend proud. Alcoholism runs rampant on both sides of my family. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I want to have children within the next few years and I can’t keep doing this to myself. I’ve been going through this battle for far too long. Enough is finally enough.
I’m excited to meet new people! Sorry for talking your ear (technically eyes) off but the idea of putting all my dirty laundry out in the open scares the crap out of me…I decided to jump all the way in. Hope everyone is having a great evening.
7 Likes
My name is Lauren and I am an alcoholic. I’ve been sober now for exactly 6 months. I don’t know when alcohol took over my life exactly. Sometime after my husbands death I started drinking daily and it steadily increased to several fifths of vodka every day. I isolated myself to keep my addiction a secret. I have 3 beautiful children and unfortunately they had to live with a mean, sloppy drunk for many years. After a drunken fight with my 13 year old I ended up in jail for domestic abuse. I couldn’t even remember what I had done when I awoke in jail. After 10 days my father bailed me out and insisted I attend meetings. I tried really hard to stay sober but failed miserably. I was convinced there was no hope for me. If the threat of losing my children couldn’t stop me then nothing would. After a night of drinking I happened to catch my reflection in the hallway mirror. In a moment of clarity (or the shock at my appearance) I picked up the phone and asked my dad for help. 30 days later I emerged from treatment with a new understanding of my disease and a clear path to achieving sobriety. This time I embraced it. Not because I had to or else, because I truly wanted to be sober. In this 6 short months everything about my life and my personality has changed. My kids actually look at me and are proud to introduce me as their mom. My relationships with family and friends has changed drastically and I have never been happier. I can’t imagine going back to that miserable life and thankfully I don’t have to.
15 Likes
Great to meet you @BrandiK!! You have certainly had a tough hand dealt to you and I’m impressed by your strength. You have made the right decision and everyone here will support you on your journey! Sending you strength and love 
1 Like
So proud of you @Dazey! So happy to hear you’re moving forward and making such positive changes in your life
1 Like
I’m exactly the same way. I get sober for a couple months go to the gym way healthy and then something will happen that leads me to that first drink. Next thing I know it’s 6 months later and I’ve been drinking everyday feeling like shit. It’s cool to hear that you have a similar reaction to alcohol. Good luck
@BloodyMary it’s great to meet you too. I don’t have the strength yet, just determination. I’m just praying that it turns into strength. Woo, one day down!
1 Like
Yup…I’m the same way. It’s like potato chips or cookies…can’t have just one (and chances are I’ll eat the whole bag)
2 Likes
Hi my name is Casey and I live in Florida. I am 29 yrs old. I had my first drink at 11 and got black out drunk. I continued to get black out drunk sporadically and by 16 I was getting black out drunk every weekend. By 18 I was drinking at least 3 times a week. By 22 getting drunk was he most important thing to me; although, I would never had admitted that at the time. I landed my first professional Job at 24 and with that came happy hour multiple nights during the work week, which usually extended far beyond happy hour, in addition to the weekend drinking. I knew I wanted to stop hut I didn’t know how. March 15th at 12:22 am i finally got the help I needed. I got pulled over for being stopped at a green light with my headlights off. I spent that night In jail. My birthday was the next day, March 16th. It was quite fitting that this would all happen right at my 29th birthday. It’s as though life didn’t truely begin until this birthday. I have been sober almost 156 days now. I was a prisoner to the alcohol for so long and now I no longer am. That police officer unknowingly gave me the push i desperately needed to get my life back. Being free from the alcohol is the greatest birthday gift I could have ever gotten!
8 Likes
@Casey Thanks for sharing your story! That’s awesome 156 days is excellent! Congratulations! I like to call it “angels in disguise” So happy for you! Welcome! Blessings to you! Stay strong! 
2 Likes
@BrandiK We are here to listen so don’t worry about talking our ears off. The important thing is you’re not drinking. I’m sorry about your losses, it must be tough. You know that alcohol is not the answer and you should be proud that you have shared your story and you’re taking the first steps to living a sober life. Take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you have to. Soon, your mind will clear up and you’ll find the natural, raw happiness that’s within you.
Welcome my friend. Stay with us, stay strong!
2 Likes
Welkome! Im from the netherlands to 
2 Likes
@Anthony Thank you! I’m on day three and really proud. My longest time has been 11 days so I’m creeping up there. I didn’t have a support system before though so this time it WILL stick. Thanks for commenting! 
Have a great Friday!
1 Like
Hi @Casey thanks for sharing your story!
sometimes we get the help we need even if the consequences are harsh…believe me, i know!
I wish what had happend to me to get me to stop didnt happen and I regret it with every waking breath but in the same sentence had what happend not happend… i might not have quit and my consequence might have been A lot worse!
156 or 157 days now is quite the accomplishment…feel good about that achievement and keep pressing on.
Stay strong…Stay sober!
HI @Dazey !
inspirational story!
congrats on 6 months…
Its good to see you understanding that for some of us it is a "disease"
not many people relate alcoholism to a disease or an allergic reaction.
sounds to clinical and theres no way drinking can be compared to the flue…right?
Wrong!
There are those who can drink and be happy, live a normal life, and act like those people you see in beer commericals.
And then theres people like…well, like US!
We have a few drinks just like everyone else but then something different happens.
We just dont get drunk like other people, we change, we become something else…someone else.
Believe me I wish i knew why it is this way and sometimes I wish it werent that way but it IS that way and its something we as alcoholics have to accept!
Once again congrats on your 6 months and welcome to the group!
Stay strong…Stay sober!!
2 Likes
Good morning everyone. I am Jamie. I live in the Boston Mass area and I’ve been clean and sober for 404 days. Recovery thus far has absolutely had its share of ups and downs but throughout everything what is been of paramount importance is that I stay grateful and if I do feel like using I just play the tape through and remember where it will lead me. I am an IV heroin user so my world changes dramatically as soon as I pick up and it spirals out of control very quickly. Just reaching out to anybody that has any good ideas or nuggets of wisdom, I guess I’m hoping to find some wise Yoda type person on here that can tell me the secrets to staying clean and sober without losing my effing mind sometimes.
4 Likes