I think it’s time. I’m ready to own what I’ve been denying for years. I don’t really know where to begin, but I got this app and want to find the right path.
About a month ago I was certain I was ready to stop drinking. I went three weeks, felt great, and admitted to my partner what I’d been struggling with. She wasn’t convinced I had a problem, but was supportive anyways. We even kept beer out of the fridge for the first week, but it appeared one day and shortly after I even bought a replacement pack for her. It did not bother me to have her drink around me, and I was content with my seltzer and cookies (after all, without the beer calories I thought excessive desserts were acceptible).
Sure enough I caved at a friend’s house last weekend and the next day was back to my old habits: A fridge full of beers, drinking at restaurants, my sick cycle of slowly drinking more and more each day, thinking I’d ‘learned my lesson’ and had it handled…until the One Drink That Does It went down my system and I couldn’t tell myself to stop. I am ashamed.
That was last night. I can barely even focus at work and I barely slept. I don’t want this anymore and I don’t think attempting to do it without assistance is going to work. I don’t want to fail.
Any words of advice or encouragement are appreciated.