Damn that was a hard one but I am glad I stuck to my guns! Going on 22 days of no alcohol and I haven’t really been hanging out with my friends because they all drink and see no problem well I realize I had a problem.
Just earlier my friend wanted to come over so I said sure well I didn’t really think about how she wanted to get beers and chat like we use to. We went for a ride and she ended up at the beer store…
She offered me one but I stuck to my guns and said no thank you. She was alright with it but then a few more drinks she really wanted me to have one. Noticing how annoying a drunk person can be. Makes me really not want to drink again. Don’t want to be that way nor what she was telling me the last time we drvank together I was a complete mess.
@Shelfrank congratulations on sticking to your convictions. I have had a few similar experiences with some close friends, old and new. You’re right, a drunk person can be very annoying. The short term memory impairment is the most frustrating for me. You find yourself having the same damn conversation about how you don’t want to drink over and over.
But @Mephistopheles offered some good advice. Talking to people about your sobriety, however much or little you wish to disclose, can be quite surprising. I’ve received quite a bit of support from people in both the long and short term.
It hasn’t all been positive. I’ve lost some friends and family. Some people have not been the most respectful of my choice to not drink.
But it has been mostly positive. Which is surprising for me to say because I am very pessimistic. Some people really surprised me and rose to the occasion.
I encourage you to be open to support from new places.
Stay strong
At least you you didn’t ruin all your friendships to the point where you don’t have any. But definitely being firm in your position is a good thing. I just had a friend who is still using ask to hang out but there’s just no way that is possible. Now when he texts me I just tell him what meeting I will be at next. Funny how he never shows up. Sometimes our friends want to drag us down to their level to justify their own actions.
I am learning which friends that will respect my choice and which friends just try and push me to be the old me… it’s hard trying life a whole different way than you are use to.
I think this is a way of deflecting. I’ve had friends do this and often too. They feel insecure that they are not taking steps to be a healthier happier person and your so riety makes them uncomfortable so they have to bring up a time where YOU were a mess to make themselves feel better. It’s kind of sad and a little mean but just remember that’s actually all about THEM and their insecurities not you.
There’s no other reason a friend would be like hey I’m bettering my life and staying sober and you think to say oh good because omg you were horrible drunk, let me rub a little salt in your fresh wound.
Try to look passed it and maybe next time change the subject. Even after being over a year sober I still get people even my own brother who makes comments about how he can believe how much I’ve changed and I just smile tell him yup! and change the subject.