Poetry in sobriety

[Rikk]

I’ve seen a few posts where some people have stated that they like to write poetry/prose so i thought i’d start a thread where we could share some of that with eachother.
I used to write all the time as a form of therapy for myself and sometimes those that would read it but i havent been able to do it for years…I figured maybe by sharing some of my old stuff it might motivate myself as well as others to start doing it again? I’ll start with one that kind of relates to what I go through at times with my sobriety…it doesnt have a name (yet?)

"A curse, Bad luck, paranoia? A failure to understand or comprehend the Inevitable breakdown of everything that’s been working in a working order just to fill this void,

this want, this need.

Such a hollow feeling not to be feeling anything at all…The synergy of empathy

slowly gets the best of me, yet I have no recollection of ever feeling this way before.

Euphoric, bewildered, confused and dazed in ways that have me all but feeling emotionally dumb…founded by the desire to analytically tear this world apart metaphor by metaphor until I is the only letter left in the alphabet.
one is not the loneliest number because when you add up to zero all your left with is a hole inside you so big that the world seems to pass right through without ever touching its edges.

Recede, pull back, retract the wheels that have been idle and touch-down on this runway heading to nowhere, I have wings too so why is it I cant fly?

I wanna be as high as everyone else, A drift in a dream or some fairy tale that is told to our children every night to help them fall asleep…but still I fail to comprehend or understand.

Maybe I’ll just sit here and let the rain wash over me…Maybe this time…I wont just let it wash me away."

[Volatile]

That’s quite poignant

[Soberlife05]

@Rikk That’s really great! I like it!

[Rikk]

Guess i’ll keep it going…

Sleep’s not working the mind keeps racing,
With memories I keep misplacing.
Thoughts are churning from fears I’m facing,
Still running toward that dream I’m chasing.
The clock is turning just time for wasting,
I’m fading fast and dissipating.
My chest is pounding, my hands are shaking.
But sleep’s not working, my mind keeps racing.

I’m trying hard to focus but I’m slipping once again.
This situation’s hopeless and it’s burning at both ends.
A power-struggle failure in competition for who’s right,
as the air has gotten stale here from this ever winless fight.

But nothing seems to change the pain I’ve felt for years it stays the same.
And no one wants to take the blame for all the tears and all my rage.
And all this hate built up inside I can’t relate and choose to hide.
What segregates and now divides emotionless the feelings die.

I’m still trying hard to focus but I fade off once again.
I’m pretending not to notice it’s getting hard just to pretend.
Without answers to my questions in this truth with no remorse,
I’m trying hard to focus but it seems to make things worse!

[Soberlife05]

@Rikk That’s awesome! I always loved poetry! Keep it up, you have great talent! It’s therapeutic & can help you vent what you feel inside. Blessings!

[Rikk]

@Soberlife05
Thank you…i guess it helps keep me sane haha as if that where possible!

[Soberlife05]

@Rikk Right lol your welcome

[Volatile]

Sorry i wish i could contribute but i never was much Good at poetry. I am however a photographer, so i think I’m going to start a photography topic

[Rikk]

@Volatile
I like photography…just don’t have a nice camera for it.
definitely, create a thread for that, I’d enjoy seeing what you see…

[Rikk]

I’m stuck in between the now and where I want to be.

This is so much harder than I thought.

I hurt for you, You hurt for me, We hurt for each other.

It’s like dying inside.

Thoughts, dreams, and hopes are all washed away.

Drowning in confusion, clinging to pain as my life jacket.

Holding my breath as I go under just to see you staring back at me.

Smiling…Whispering…

“Hold me…Hurt me…Crush me…Heal me.”

I inhale with suffocation,

Without death, am I seething and nothing is said.

Never to breathe again…Never to see again…Never to know what it’s like Not to feel.

I’m trapped in you, you’re trapped in me, So lost as we are…

But never forgotten.

[Rikk]

I awoke this morning to find the height of my limitations expanding up and out into space.

a place I have yet to know, things I’ve yet to show, into a person I have yet to be.

Something so strange about a new beginning, the rush of fear brought on by change;

The excitement felt in the thought of failing once again at those tests already taken.

Lessons in acceptance teach understanding until all the mistakes are learned once and for all.

Such is life.

A game, a riddle, a puzzle to be put together each new day by the hands of inspiration.

I awoke this morning to the sound of motivation slipping through the cracks of the floor beneath my bed.

In my head a dream of what once was, of what used to be, and what might be again.

I awoke.

[Rikk]

Another day has passed me by,
still so much left undone.
The battle was well fought today,
but this war is far from won.

One more moment lost in time,
spent wasted on the run.
watching life just pass on by,
while time ticks on and on.

But still I cant see,
Through the pain and misery.
The darkness blinds my eyes,
Overwhelmed, I have succumb.

Waiting on the smoke to clear,
for the ash and dust to hide the fear.
down in this emptiness to face what I’ve become.

Another day has passed me by,
and I’m all but feeling numb.
The battle was well fought today,
but another war’s begun.

One more moment Lost to time,
Spent wasted on the run.
Watching life just pass me bye,
While time ticks on and on.

But still I cant see…

[Rikk]

My body aches begins to shake,
my vision starts to dissipate.

Soon thoughts of you come bleeding through,
With this pain I can’t alleviate.

I’m calling out to no one listening,
still beating drums which make no sound.

My words are empty there’s something missing,
Into the void it drags me down.

Held paralyzed by indecision,
My thought’s of failure keeps me still.

Knowing one wrong move could spell disaster,
and crumble each new wall I’ve built.

Exposing truth within each lie,
A confrontation soon begins.

The time to conquer and divide,
To separate and see who wins.

The fight begins I battlefield;
the Enemy, Myself, and I.
The war is waged, I battlefield;
This fight engaged so deep inside.

[EnoughsEnough]

This is awesome.I write poetry to help, I will have to post some.

[Rikk]

Your more then welcome @Restlesssoul i look forward to reading!!

[EnoughsEnough]

I can’t relate to this one alot.

[EnoughsEnough]

Sadly I wrote this one night while I was drinking til 4am.So pathetic.I was clearly very sad before I met my husband…I don’t ever want to feel like this again this is why I want to stay sober before I end up pathetic and sad again.
"Up all night got demons to fight"
Deep into the hours after midnight strikes
My heart aches vastly, anxiety alive
It’s heavy steel shoes stomp down on my chest
Like it’s just a grave and it won’t let my heart rest.
When you’re broken, you do your best to pick yourself up
Pull yourself together, let all doubt eat your dust
3am…4am…the wrong time for this beer.
But I’m hell bent on holding on, when no one can see my tears.
I reminisce of all the ways I lived and used to laugh
I let myself feel all the things I know I won’t get back.
I’ll fall asleep with woe and sorry on my mind
But in the morning it’s just madness and I’ll go on like it’s alright.

[Rikk]

@Restlesssoul
Nice!!
I can so relate to that one…sad thing about the majority of my writing is that it always came from dark places under the influence of something
But yet it seemed to be my best stuff, at least thats what i would like to think anyway, i dont think ive given myself enough of a chance to write clear headed with a positive outlook?
definitely something id like to start trying.
thanks for posting as I look forward to reading more of your work!

[Rikk]

I wrote this totally under the influence of something…

I know this place, I’ve been here before,
Everything looks so familiar but yet I’m not sure which way I should go.

“If I could just move my feet I’d be fine”

Then off in the distance,
A young girls voice calling out as if to me.

“Stay here with me, please dont leave me here alone”

Her voice is soon drowned out by the sounds of two women fighting,
yelling and screaming.

Their volume is driving me mad with frustration!

I finally force my legs to move my feet and make my way further down the road.

There, sitting on a bus bench and old man wrestles with his thoughts.

Seemingly silent but yet saying so much without a word.

His eyes pierce my soul as he stands to board a bus now parked by the curb.

The sign on the front reads…

“Destinati0n - Home”

I follow him up with my eyes through the door where i see the bus’ driver.

He’s cloaked in black and dawns a grin that in some helpless way is comforting.

Taking a hand off the wheel he holds out a ticket and assures me,
its my time to go.

My heart races to a stop as I touch the first step and ascend up and into this unknown.

“Where is Home?”

A chill shoots down my spine as I reach the second step and I can feel my legs near freezing again.

With both feet on the third I’m confident theres no going back and I feel the door close behind me.

I take a seat next to a young man that I’m sure I have known.

His eyes, his face, just the way he is looking at me is trying to tell me that our souls have met once before.

Sitting down I glanced out the window just to see you standing there waving to me.

Goodbye.

[EnoughsEnough]

@Rikk I like this one you wrote feels like a story and have to agree to the fact that some of my best work was done from dark places.I think it’s a good outlet.Maybe the reason it turns out good is when we reread it makes us feel something or gives other people insight to some raw emotions in ourselves.Keep up the poetry even if it’s positive this time.Heck going through sobriety is positive but might make for really good poetry