Question this morning

So is it true that they say you really shouldn’t be trying to be in a relationship in your first year of recovery?

I am just wondering because a year ago I broke up with my ex of five years, which we were bad for each other and just were drinking way to much and everytime I would try to quit and say we both have a problem he would say it was me that did not him which wasn’t true. So I left and was single for a while but now with another guy and I just am struggling with trying to get sober, not being able to drive, only relying on him to get me places and I don’t think it’s far to him nor to our newly building relationship.

So I have heard that it’s best to be by yourself in getting sober but is that the best thing? Or is it more personal and is different for everyone?

If you feel its affecting for sobriety and struggling with triggers. Id recomend abandoning ship now which you should do anyway…

I know it is recommended to remain single your first year. However I believe it depends on the people involved. The strength of your sobriety. The program your working. Essentially your overall resolve and inner Constitution.

If you’re still struggling with your sobriety. Trust your gut instinct. Maybe now isn’t the right time to be dating.

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In most cases a relationship in early recovery is bad news. There’s a reason they warn you about them in rehab and that most sponsors discourage it and Everytime it gets brought up at a meeting the answer is always the same. It’s pretty much just not a good idea. Go back and read the thread I started on it for a humorous look at the situation.

I’m not saying it can’t work. I’m just saying it probably won’t and that’s never good. Focus on recovery for a year then what’s meant to happen will happen. But right now anything you put before sobriety you’re going to lose.

There’s another part of that line of thought. No major life changing decisions in the first year. I’m not telling you to stay where you feel uneasy but. Early sobriety makes us all feel uneasy. It’s hard to face life without our crutch. That advice is starting a new relationship is not advisable during the first year. You will grow and become a new person with different perspectives. So who knows where you will end up. If you keep doing the next right thing it will figure itself out. I hope you find a peace in your relationship.