So…I achieved 5 days sober which for me is a miracle. Every day in work this week without a hangover was so good. I felt like a new person and didn’t feel I looked bad when I looked in the mirror for a change. I was drinking half a bottle of vodka every night for about a year. I suppose I’m what you’d call a functioning achoholic as I go into work and blame insomnia in case my work colleagues suspect anything. That’s the good part…to continue the story, I just drank a bottle of wine as that’s what I used to do before the dark times (as I call them) took hold. In my head I say wine is not as bad as vodka. It’s like a release at the end of the working week. I’m determined not to drink tomorrow or anytime until the next end of my week at work but just wanted to see if you all think this is a bad idea. Thanks everyone. So glad I found this app for people in the same situation as me. Makes me feel not so isolated.
Hi. How do you feel? Do you regret the wine?
Hello @Doodles and welcome 
. I can’t say it’s bad, but I can say it would be a bad idea for me. I was a daily wine drinker. Stopped for a week, thought I’ll just buy one of the small bottles on Monday night, by Friday I was back to 2 standard size bottles. Another occasion I switched to cider , didn’t last… I just know that for me , cutting down just isn’t an option 
. Luckily, being sober is turning out to be much better than I thought! 
Yes I absolutely regret the wine 
Everytime I drink I ask myself how the alcohol enhanced my evening and the true answer is not at all. It destroys everything. On the days i didn’t drink this week, I was reading books and getting back to my old self again. I suppose I just question if I’m destined to a life with no alcohol at all hence my behaviour tonight.
Hello @Doodles welcome!
I too have a drink issue / problem - whatever you want to label it. Before I made the choice to go sober I tried substitution. Wine was my drink of choice and I tried to substitute it with beer, lager, cider to try and drink less, but always ended up back in the vino.
It may work for some, but I’ve found, for me, it’s all Or nothing. I can’t just drink a little bit, or have just the one glass of wine and sip.
Aw thanks so much for your reply Sally…means a lot. Yeah I suppose I’m just kidding myself at this stage that I can take some alcohol and still be ok. The truth is that it’s a horrible addiction and has taken over my life. I switched to vodka instead of wine in the stupid girly logic that it has less calories. I haven’t put on weight but feel I look like shit. Your words have given me the encouragement to stop tomorrow. It’s all about breaking habits.
I’ve been able to drink in moderation after quitting for 3 months, but it was just a matter of time until the old habits kicked in. It’s like cracking open Pandora’s box. Soon as it cracked it will fly open at the worse time.
It also seemed I would drink at levels higher then I was initially drinking. It’s like I was making up for missed time…
Hi guys. Hi @Doodles I think you answered my question very clearly. I started drinking to get over a woman 15 years ago. I went from tee total to occasional drinker to 6pm and smash it drinker. I agree with you completely. I’ve filmed myself out of it. I look like a zombie. I’ve spent years doing that every night. I’ve tried two pints then going home but that’s a tease. I end up buying stuff in the supermarket but has to be enough to give me a hit. Then I think…hold on…a hit? I’m not a junkie…but it’s horrible addiction. If you can I would go for sobriety. I had a wobble tonight so we’re only human but thankfully I didn’t pick up. We’re all behind you
Thanks so much Tim. Yeah I definitely knew I had a problem when I needed to choose which liquor store/off-licence to go to as it was getting embarrassing. I made myself phone the doctor last week to get tablets to stop as the anxiety was too much when I tried to give it all up at once. He was actually horrible to me but in a way the bad-cop approach helped as he made me see what i was doing to myself. I really wish you well in getting sober too. It’s such a hard journey but we’re all in the same boat. I started drinking as well over an asshole ex but so not worth it. We have to value ourselves more. Let’s help each other tomorrow.
Well said. I’m in the UK but would end up in the supermarket down the booze aisle thinking oh no not again. I would wake up full of regret. Come 6pm I’d be at the supermarket again. Now I understand the real me doesn’t want to drink. The beast or monster brain does. Thanks for your kind words. Day 12 down for me now
I was the same way.I was paranoid of what the people behind the counter in the shop next door were thinking of me…coming in buying 2 bottles of wine most nights…so I’d mix it up by buying from the supermarket a bit up the road from it some nights…and the supermarket down the road from it other nights.
Then there were the nights I’d go into the shop a few hours after I had bought a bottle of wine to see the same person behind the counter…turn on my heels and go to the supermarket instead because I was ashamed by what I thought they might think of me. Total strangers! But the level of shame was intense.
Restart tomorrow eh?
Hi @Doodles and welcome to the forum. 
Congrats on taking the first big step.
5 days is amazing, but maybe don’t call it a “relapse” yet, I would reserve that for longer periods. It’s probably more of a do-over, you’re just starting to get traction. Have you fully committed to 100% sobriety? Or still sitting on the fence about moderation. I wasn’t sure from this thread. To me a drink is a drink vodka is same as wine is same as beer - they all get you drunk, it’s just a matter of efficiency.
Here is a useful thread on getting through early recovery:
(Surviving Alcohol Withdrawal/Early Sobriety Techniques)
And recovery-related links that members have posted:
I did the same thing. 4th day sober and I had two large rum and cokes, smh. Next day, which was yesterday, i felt like poo so I didn’t drink and started my sobriety over. Woke up feeling like a million bucks. It’s all trial and error and dont let triggers get to you! My husband still drinks so it’s hard but i enjoy waking up not feeling rough. Just take each day one day at a time. 