Hey @Mindfulness. I’m sorry that you are struggling right now. I can definitely relate to the feeling of not being your true self without having alcohol in your life. But to put it bluntly - it’s just a lie that our brain tells us. You don’t need a substance to be your true self. In fact, the substance dulls your true self and allows you to bury your true self deeper and deeper.
I had been drinking to escape since I was 15. Escape my emotions, past traumas, frustrations - everything. One of the biggest challenges of sobriety is to actually face your emotions head on. But you can do it! The forum is so helpful. Thank you for posting. Keep checking in and allow others to help you on this journey. You don’t have to do it alone!
Here are some things that helped me in early recovery:
Surviving Alcohol Withdrawal/Early Sobriety Techniques