I relapsed last night. Finished work yesterday. Girlfriend was away. Was convinced I didn’t have work today. Had 3 bottles of wine. Woke up this morning with 9 missed calls; there was a mix up and I was supposed to be on duty. Oh what a disaster. I’m restarting the counter today and hoping to stay the hell away from booze for April. Watching Louis Theroux’s Drinking to Oblivion for a bit of perspective. Had 16 Days before now.
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Take it one day at a time. Don’t worry so much about what happened last night. You are doing good just by being here and wanting to start over and stay sober. Go to a meeting. Keep yourself busy and stay honest with yourself. We are all here for you!
Thanks. I don’t go to meetings. This forum is my one asset. I thought about going a few years back, but it would be awkward as I’m from a small enough place and believe it or not I treat alcoholics all the time being a healthcare professional. I should know better tbh. I drink in secret really because I don’t trust myself with alcohol around ppl I care about. This forum would be my only support. I don’t use any medications either. I am hopeful for a sober April though. People are encouraging here and I appreciate what this app offers as a support mechanism.
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I’m sorry to hear you relapsed, but hopefully it will serve as a great reminder why sobriety is the way forward for you 
Thanks for mentioning the documentary - I haven’t seen that one, I’m going to give that a watch now. There are a few others that have been shared on here recently too that are also well worth a watch.
I find watching them extremely helpful in my sobriety journey. I have quit alcohol in the past during pregnancies etc, but have always been lured back to the poison. That was a lot of my problem I think, I never really stopped and questioned what alcohol was and the true negative effect it has on us. I just accepted as the ‘refreshment’ that our culture had taught me it was.
The documentaries and articles shared on this forum have educated me a lot!!
Bring on April. You can totally do this!! 
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Thank you for your kind words. I reckon I’ve never done more than 31 days off alcohol since I was a teenager so its something to aim for next month. Sober April fingers crossed!
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@Antol pick yourself you and start again don’t beat yourself up you can do this! AA meeting is what’s keeping me sober the support from the rooms are amazing I truly believe in these meetings there the only reason I’m here today an I’m greatful for that. I would recommend them just try …good luck x
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Hi @Antol I read your previous posts and know you’ve been struggling. I’ve relapsed a few times, but I think key is to learn something each time, and try to plug the holes and add in more support. AA or other meetings (I know you have issue with it), an outpatient/inpatient program, reading books, websites, and videos. There is so much out there!
Here is a useful thread on getting through early recovery:
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Thanks John will try to form a better stratagem for the month ahead. I think I need to stop looking at alcohol as a retreat or a reward. I’m trying to view alcohol as a mistress that I’ll have nothing to do with; my partner deserves and prefers a sober me. My main problem is when shes away (3 nights every fortnight) I get transfixed on getting a few bottles in before 10:00pm. You can’t buy alcohol after that time here- unless in a pub. But I don’t go to pubs anymore.
Will try to plan better in advance I suppose. Cheers