It sounds like there are definitely underlying issues that need to be addressed. I can relate to how you are feeling. I used to drink to feel comfortable in relationships. For me it was just a way to placate myself without having to truly solve relationship issues. I used to be very passive aggressive and had trouble communicating my feelings.
When I started dating my husband I told him right from the start that this was something I was working on. That I NEEEDED to tell him if something bothered me even if it was something totally ridiculous or seemingly insignificant. This has improved my life tremendously. But like anything - communicating your feelings and needs to others takes work.
Drinking only pushes things aside - it doesn’t fix things. I agree with @Melrm - working a program will give you the tools you need to really get to the root of the problem. There are lots of tools available - some that you can do at home. Here is a good list of resources. You can do this! We are always here to listen.