Back and forth back and forth…my mind is a racing portal filled with visual reminders of my addiction. Slowly trying to grasp every emotion that follows. Friends come and go. My family has stayed the same, distant. My kids look up to me for guidance and example and I’m sittin back here solo, reacquainted with that familiar scene that has played over so many times before. There is hurt, and pain, love, success, failure, and being so near to death I can still taste it’s poison. How silence can help the light shine brightest. Just breathe. Tmrw is a blessing. This moment is for real. I’m learning to embrace the difficulties and savor the breakthroughs. I’m still making mistakes, still far from perfect and I’ve never pretended otherwise. This is I, all of us. Our own deception where we see through the lines. On the other side is everything we strive to be. Inbetween, every excuse not to. This mind has me buried. Turn off. Just be.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Pretty much sums up the mind of an alcoholic. You are quite a writer! Sounds like you’re having a rough time… I am also. Just know that the mind is more powerful than we think. Make yours work for you. Hugs, friend…
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Thank you so much @AngelaAngel I really do enjoy writing it’s a great outlet. Hope you’re doing well stay strong 
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I’m back to day 1. Had to reset my tracker, because I was vomiting most of the morning and lost control yesterday. I guess I can try to take this one day at a time.
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I fell back a few days ago also. I guess it’s something we all gotta go through in recovery just matters how we respond to it. Just gotta try again and make best at it
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