Hi @Jamesjb. I read some of your previous posts. Definitely do not hate yourself right now or anyone else about this. Hate the addiction that hijacked your brain, that is ok. There really is no other choice - keep educating yourself and start again.
The first few days and weeks can be very difficult, stay strong and get as much support/info as you can - This app/forum, reading/education, AA or other meetings, maybe an outpatient program, etc. Some useful links are found here: