1 week sober yesterday

Hello everyone! I am new to the community and have been enjoying reading everyone’s posts and thought I would make one of my own.

I will start with a little history of my drinking problem. I started drinking when I was in junior high, so 7th/8th grade. I never got drunk enough to black out or not remember what happened and I only drank on the weekends, but drinking was always a sure thing me and my friends were going to do during the weekends.

Fast forward to my early 20’s, I had my first son just before I turned 21 and my second son when I was 23. When my younger son was 8 months old we moved 12 hours away from all of our family and friends for my husband’s job and this is when my drinking escalated. I guess it really kind of became my new best friend. I started getting terrible anxiety about being so alone and away from my family. My husband worked while I stayed home with the kids and when he would come home he’d want to take a nap or just relax and I felt very secluded, so I turned to drinking as an escape I guess. I had my first episode of blacking out within the first year of moving away and it became a regular event every time I drank from that first time on. After about a year of moving, I was drinking pretty much daily and though I always made sure all the necessities were taken care of for my kids, I can look back and see that I wasn’t being the best parent I could be for my them.

We lived away from family for about 8 years and finally moved back home and I told my husband my drinking would improve because I had only been drinking to help my anxiety of being away from my family, but, as you can probably guess, it didn’t improve. I would still get black out drunk, I’d miss work occasionally due to being hungover, I’d embarrass my husband 90% of the times he would eventually cave and take me to a bar, I’d embarrass my kids who were now old enough to see that I have a problem - it was just a mess. But I still didn’t quit, just made excuses of how much I did for everyone and how I took care of things and deserved to enjoy myself.

Over the past year or so I have significantly slowed down on drinking, and not even because my husband or kids necessarily, but because my health started to scare me. My father died of a heart attack at 39 due to high cholesterol and I had started having heart palpitations the day after drinking and it would just give me this sense of doom feeling. So for the past six months to a year I pretty much only drank on the weekends, but every time it was still the same - blacking out and then anxiety over my health for the next two days after and I’d swear I was never drinking again, but as soon as Friday would come, I’d be back at the liquor store. Well, this past weekend I didn’t go to the liquor store and I have an entire week sober. I am amazed at how much better I feel health wise with not drinking for just a week. I know it’s not any time at all, but getting through a weekend without drinking was a tough battle for me.

Lastly, I know everyone says you just have to take it one day at a time, but I guess this is where I need the encouragement the most, because I have my 40th birthday coming up in a couple months, and a trip with my family to the Caribbean next year, and I just can’t seem to tell myself that I won’t be drinking at those events. Anyway, thanks for listening to my story and keep up all of your good work on being sober!

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Welcome to Talking Sober. @Bmnm1984! :wave:

Everyone has their own journey in recovery, so I can only speak for myself. I am in early days, less than a month so far, but this time feels different. I am using more of the mental, psychological, and social supports of my recovery program (I am in a twelve-step group), in a way I didn’t before. It is deeper, more mental and at the level of my heart: I am making a choice now and I am throwing out the addict voice; I am asking for helpful voices to come in (I am making calls, I am holding myself accountable in my group), to guide me; and I am following their guidance (before, I didn’t).

I have been on the relapse carousel long enough. I don’t want this any more. I want something different: I really want something different, because I’m tired of the relapse script. I’ve played it out too many times.

What do you want? What do you really want?

What do you fear? There is a deep fear - or anger, or both - that is keeping you on the relapse carousel. What is it? It is probably something you are not consciously aware of, a deep sense of anger, resentment, fear, or some combination of those. It will be several of them, probably. This took me several months of recovery work to figure out, in consultation with my sponsor.

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Hello. I celebrated 30 years in recovery in April. I attend 12 Step meetings, have been for 30 years.

You need to get to 12 Step meetings every week, connect with others who are also trudging the road to happy destiny. You don’t have to do this alone, and the fact is that those who do go it alone fail. Only two percent of all persons stopping the use of drugs and/or alcohol remain abstinent past the two year milestone. That is straight out of the ASAM text book. Research has shown the only common denominator among those who stayed abstinent more than two years was participation in a spiritual based live support group such as AA.

The odds are stacked against you, as you can see from the above statistic. Your insurance is meetings, working the Steps and connecting with people at meetings.

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I am 7+ years sober from drugs and alcohol. Never been to a 12 step meeting of any kind. Sobriety / recovery can be achieved and sustained without AA. And if meetings are a source of community support and sustenance for you, do more of those!

@Bmnm1984 , I drank for 40+ years and those years in my 40s were rough. The sooner you truly commit to your self and your health and sobriety, the sooner you ease the pressure just a tiny bit. And we need all the pressure release we can get in early days. Let your friends and family know honestly, that this stuff is killing your spirit and messing with you…even on just weekend drinking. Find ways to soothe yourself without the alcohol. Get comfortable being uncomfortable for awhile as you learn new skills (removing oneself from the ‘party’ b4 you take a drink, taking a walk, heading to bed, take a long bath). You are making such a strong healing choice for your self!! It is something to be proud of. Yes, it will change things and that is okay. If you want to go to meetings, then do that. Find what works for you…sticking around here helped me a ton. I support you 100% and others here will as well. So always know you can turn to us.

1 week is great, as is your cutting down. The blackouts are hard, I know, and that vicious anxiety. Believe me, you will feel even better when that all lifts…and it will…once you get further into sobriety. For me, one of the best things is never ever ever feeling like that again. It is huge relief. Proud of you!! And welcome!!!

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I’m here as another cheerleader for your week sober! It’s a huge deal. I hope you know you can lean on us for support. I tried AA and got a lot out of the open and honest community there. I have gotten the same through this community also. 12 step groups weren’t what helped me get sober and there is nothing wrong with that. I know many folks who have had great success there. What I do know is that there are endless options for people who want to make a change in their life. I’m glad you’re here and I hope it helps you make changes for your life.

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Hello and welcome to the community! Thank you for sharing your story. It’s incredibly brave of you to open up about your struggles and your journey. It also takes a lot of courage to admit there is a problem.

It’s clear that you’ve faced many challenges. Celebrating a week of sobriety is a significant achievement, and you should be proud of yourself for making it through the weekend without drinking.

The journey to sobriety is often difficult and requires continuous effort, but you’ve already shown that you have the strength to take those first crucial steps. It’s understandable to feel anxious about upcoming events like your birthday and the family trip. I come from a large family who loves to throw parties and gatherings, and there is always liquor around. At first, I would avoid them as much as possible because I could not trust myself not to cave in. Now I reach out to my supporters, and I come back here all the time to remind myself why I took the steps to stop drinking. I always need reminding, and now I don’t avoid the invitations.

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to navigate this path alone. Lean on this community for support if you feel the need, or someone you trust.

It’s easier said than done to take it one day at a time, but baby steps are crucial. Focus on the present and continue to celebrate each small victory. Your health and well-being are paramount, and your family will appreciate and support your efforts to be the best version of yourself.

Keep sharing your progress and challenges. We’re here to support you every step of the way. Stay strong and keep up the great work! You’ve got this! :muscle:t3:

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Welcome aboard, @Bmnm1984 ! You got good advice already so I’ll just say glad you are here and thanks for sharing your story.!!

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Why don’t you set forth your recovery plan and program so we all know what you’re doing?

If you can’t or won’t do that, you are merely abstinent, not in recovery.

Welcome @Bmnm1984 one week is great! You will find lots of helpful advice here. I encourage you to read around and find what works best for you. A sober head on your pillow each night is the goal and if you can do that for a week, you can do that forever. Well done!

One of the guidelines of the forum is to assume a post is made with good intentions, so I will assume that about your post.

I have posted my recovery plan about weekly on this site for 7+ years (or someone else links it). If you look at my profile, you will find many links to what has worked and continues to work for me.

I share here what helps me…

In this thread I also share some info on what works for me…

Hoping that what has helped me, may resonate with the original poster. @Bmnm1984 , I have taken a few Caribbean trips with my husband and friends in sobriety. A few things that helped me…

  1. Stay hydrated with water throughout the day. Let the bartenders know you are alcohol free (many people are!). They will gladly make alcohol free tropical mocktails…delicious and regret free!

  2. Getting up early and enjoying the peace and beauty of the sun, sand and sea hangover free is priceless.

  3. Feel comfortable taking time to yourself if needed…a beach walk, hammock or room nap, whatever you need to recharge.

  4. Come on here if feeling iffy, someone is always around to talk with.

But for now, keep the focus on today and being sober today. That is all that matters. :people_hugging::heart:

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Congratulations on your first week! Keep going it only gets better!

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