I’ve made 1 year of no gambling today! I am happy and proud of myself, although I have to say it’s a strange feeling. Although it was common knowledge to loved ones that I would go to casinos with friends and to be social - no one knows to the extent of hell I was in. I’d been gambling on and off for 10 years- it finally just got out of control. I told myself I would not go back to the dark place again and so far so good. I have zero desire to return- in fact, it makes me sad to think about those days. It also helps I don’t live near casinos.
If I’m being honest, I probably have slightly switched my gambling addiction to a “buying” (shopping) online addiction- but, I at least have something to show for those items Now that I’ve made my 1 year - I’m going to start a new one today with the shopping.
This is my first post but I really felt like I should share. Milestones in addictions are hard to achieve- I’m so thankful I made it
hello and a huge congratulations. One year, what were the odds on that Well done and wish you well on your next little venture.
I spend quite a lot now but its bc we have it to spend plus I generally spend it on others and not myself but yep if you feel it’s bothering you your in the right place for a bit of moral support.
FANTASTIC!!! congratulations to you, that’s a massive milestone thanks for sharing, it’s a pleasure to be on this road with you my friend! Whoooo yaaaa!
Hi @Lauren811 and thanks for sharing! So pleased for you to achieve this milestone - and you already have the next thing lined up to work on and better yourself. Progress not perfection, my friend! All the best and celebrate your 1 year nicely!
To start, my Mom took me to a local casino for my 21st birthday and taught me how to play blackjack. I loved it but I was in college at the time about 2 hours away. After college, I moved back to my hometown which is about 30 mins from many casinos. The casinos have nice pools, restaurants and amenities- so all my friends and some family hang out there a lot. I found myself going and winning some- but when I would lose/ I would go back to “chase” my losses. I recognized later that when I was very anxious or nervous about a life event - I would go there to self numb. Obviously, in the long run it made my anxiety worse.
I have lived in a different state now for several years. So although I wouldn’t go as much- I would still go when I visited home. Last year - I had just had enough of it all. I knew I had a problem because when I would leave down from losses- all I could think about was going back. It felt like I was controlled and being in that environment- I saw a lot of sad people who just looked miserable. Some had been up for days trying to get their money back.
I quit because that last day I knew I had to change and not go back. I was at the end of a very hard graduate degree program and turned all my focus on that. I think the distraction of my studies and keeping myself away really helped. I know though- like all other addicts to anything- I could be only one step away to destruction if I went back. I can’t just go in there and gamble for entertainment. Knowing and believing that keeps me away.
The sad and scary thing about gambling is that unlike some other addictions- you can hide it for awhile. Some people hide until the house is being taken away. I never got to that point, but I don’t doubt I could have. It’s an evil addiction. You are just self numbing with some highs every once in awhile- but mainly lows and loneliness. The high of winning is nothing like the low of losing. It’s just not worth it in the end.
It’s interesting though how our minds and genetics are. I can have a drink and not drink again for 6 months. I’ve never had an issue with alcohol or drugs. But, put me in a casino and devastation is right around the corner.
That’s amazing, good for you for turning it around! It is funny isn’t it, how we do all these mental gymnastics to keep ourselves stuck in those lows and loneliness in the hope of that high.
I am mainly here for alcohol, like you I know it’s not something I could just dip into without going ‘all in’. I never had to face any terrible consequences from my drinking but that is more due to luck than judgement and I don’t want to test it and see how much further it could go.
I’m going to be lazy and link to my story on another thread, although a bonus is that there are lots of other stories there too
Now that I’ve made my 1 year - I’m going to start a new one today with the shopping.
Well done and wish you well on your next little venture.
thanks for sharing, it’s a pleasure to be on this road with you my friend! Whoooo yaaaa! 
All the best and celebrate your 1 year nicely!