I think i want to separate from my husband and im hoping someone may have some advice. We’ve been married since 2006 and aside from solely (with some government assistance) financially supporting our kids and I for the last 1033 days- he does nothing u less i ask him too - like a child. Even writing that seems wrong but it’s true. I have no companion and it feels I’m being forced into living with someone given my circumstances. I have end stage liver disease, a collapsed gall bladder and enlarged spleen. I have peripheral neuropathy in both legs from the knees down. This was caused by alcohol. I wasnt a big drinker either but i did love my red wine. My liver? Not so much. Do to these illnesses, i can’t work and am unable to drive due to the numbness in my feet and the Hepatic encephalopathy i get frequently. I get so lonely.
When i was diagnosed, he literally buried his head in the sand. He stopped drinking too which was helpful but said he he did it for him apparently.
I needed so much support and i didn’t get it. I’ve told him how i felt- We’ve talked and talked about this. I’ve gone to counseling a lot and have learned so much! He tried to go once because i made him. I feel like I’m a totally different person wanting to live an authentic and honest life And it seems that he is so NOT on the same page as i am at all. We barely talk, we sleep in different beds, he won’t bring anything up and I’m so tired of being the only one who does. I’m so tired of being sick and going through these Rollercoaster emotion rides And trying to save a marriage that i don’t think was truly even genuine to begin with now that i see so clearly now.
I have told him how to support me, how to make me feel special but nothing.
I’m 43 and not entirely sure how long I’ll be around for but i guess no one really does. All i know it’s that the one thing that has kept me going in our two amazing kids. I don’t want to hurt them, they have been through so, so much (is been a very rough 3 years and covid was just par for the course) i try to love my husband but i feel so let down and don’t feel i can trust him due to so many lies. He was diagnosed with Crohn’s while we were dating and i have supported him the way he needed support at the time- no questions asked. That’s what you do!
I feel like I’m wasting each day by filling is with distractions i create for myself. I want to feel happy again. I hope this all makes sense- any input would be so welcomed. 
Welcome to TS and congratulations on your 1033 days.
Thank you for sharing some thoughts with us here. This I as as far as I have experienced a great community where you might find the support your husband cannot give you for whatever reasons. This must be so hard. And coming to the point where the answer to the question: is this relationship giving me something positive anymore? - is: maybe not. This is hard. Your are not alone.
You are right. This is so hard and I’m hoping that support within the community will help. Emotions are tough and it’s always a tug of war between my head, my heart and my morals. Thank you for your message🙏
I could be wrong. I’ll say it again. I could be wrong.
But you sound like the spouse of a porn addict. Oftentimes, they are perceiving something is wrong with the relationship. Many times, they blame themselves. The addicted spouse remains distant, emotionally and intimacy anorexic.
Lying, sleeping in different beds, not desiring you sexually? Are you absolutely certain he’s being completely faithful to you?
Thank you and something i honestly hasn’t even considered. I know porn is a huge part of his… spare time. I will look into this for sure. He is horrible with communication and transparency as he is a defensive person so it’s tough to get the full story from him a lot. I appreciate your insight.
Welcome to Talking Sober Shans. Hope this place can be helpful to you. It sure has been to me.
As to advice - I don’t have much I’m afraid. I hear you on the difficult situation you are in. I feel you already took the first step you needed to take: looking for outside input and help. Looking for your peers in this case. We can’t do this all by ourselves. And here we’re in it together. Hoping you find the support you need friend. Love and hugs.
Maybe this thread can be of some help to you. Not exactly fits your description but still there might be something there for you. Hope so. Wishing you all success. 
Omg! Porn addiction is unfaithfulness. And it greatly impacts one’s ability to connect. You just confirmed it. This has to be tough on you.