116 days gone

I was doing so good. I just couldn’t (or didn’t) say no this time. My birthday was on the weekend and I was convinced I could take a celebratory shot/two with everyone. But the next day it seemed like that was no big deal, then last night… I fucked up.
Feeling like such shit topped with the most violent hangover I’ve ever had in my entire life. Feeling pretty low.

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You’ve been gone for over 2 months, maybe staying here longer might help out?

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Now you know that one is never one. Use this to empower yourself to say “no” from here on out.

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I literally don’t know why I would think that one would be okay, it never has been before. It’s hard to turn the switch off.

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To be honest, you likely always knew it wasn’t going to be one.
That “one” was just the excuse your alcoholic mind needed in order to get its foot in the door of an old friend… booze.

It’s not uncommon, but is preventable and is not inevitable.

I don’t know of anyone who went out and gave it another lash that came back and said it was worth it.

You can do this.
All the best, mate.

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The first drink, is the drink that matters.

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Hey don’t crawl under the shame and guilt. If you do , use it as a motivation to get better, focus on it and make sure you remember it next time you have the thought of drinking. Write yourself how you feel right now and what was your mistake. Brain work better and change easier with physical, concrete stuff. If you just keep it in your mind without taking action towards sobriety , the day you’ll be facing a nice cold beer or a shot at your birthday, you won’t be able to trust your brain because it’s an addict one that you’ve been reinforcing for years. You’ll have to relay on what you’ve build up since you started to work your sobriety, not what your brain will be telling you.
Anyways , you haven’t lost those 116 days. Use the skills you’ve learn in those day, figure out what haven’t worked out and get back on track. Take your time. You deserve this.

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Thank you for your kind words.
After I wrote this I swore that I was done and yet still couldn’t step up for the rest of the week. On top of feeling guilty for giving in, the hangover was one I will surely not forget (almost 4 months sober and I night I can’t totally recall left me ragged the next day)… but even still my mind was on, well it doesn’t matter now.
But I’m on day 5 again and feeling just a slight bit better of understanding what I need to push through.

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Again I would say don’t be too hard on yourself - but if you do, use it to remember… That’s what I’ve done since my last binge last month. It made me so miserable, can’t go back there.

But if you’ve come to 116 days, you sure have learned something along the way. Use that knowledge and that past experience. For me, my longest stretches always ended up on Christmas time. I guess this year ain’t gonna be a problem because of Covid :sweat_smile:
Hey stick around and reach out whenever you feel like it!

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How are you doing?

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How’s the week and heading for you?

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Right now I’m doing good! Thank you sooo much for checking. Staying strong and pushing through, even if sometimes it’s just convincing myself that I just need to make it through today.

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Thank you for checking on me! I’ve been doing good, almost 15 days now. Finding projects around the house to keep my mind busy. Clearing out space in my garage to put up a punching bag!

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congratulations on 15 days sober. great idea, the punching ball in the garage :grin: :muscle:

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Keep adding those days

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stack them days back up! One drink never works. Sometimes we all give in to the “one drink” a slip doesn’t define you. Dust yourself off and do better. Continued luck to you on your journey.

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