I am 12 days sober…second Friday with no alcohol down, Saturday to go. I know I can make this change, among other things in my life, but my ex I’m still talking to keeps on insisting that I can’t change and that I’ll just keep going with the same crap (personality traits that don’t benefit him included). He seems to say this sort of thing when he is upset about something, because otherwise he can be completely supportive of me. I feel like it’s him trying to control me and make me feel like I can’t achieve better. He wants to make me feel guilty for having other focuses other than him and tries to tell me that I have all these problems and that im a horrible person who can never change, essentially. I’m not swayed by his words and I know I can prove him wrong but is it time to completely cut him off? We broke up because of my drunken actions and we have both since expressed wanting to be together still. I just feel like I am making major changes in my life and that he truly does not see where his faults lie. I will not be made to feel less than just because he does not feel good personally. I know I have never felt better, health wise and mentally as a person. I know my strength but it’s getting exhausting that he is always trying to bring me down. Kind of wanting advice, kind of just needed to vent. Thanks guys.
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I’m not going to tell you what to do but, I will tell you what I would do. I would stop all contact. If forced to interact I would just state that if I am so horrible, without the capacity to change then why would you want to be with me. Those statements are not only toxic, they are false. That is the last thing needed in recovery. Sounds to me like he has a problem with insecurity and is putting you down to mask that. I could be way off but, that’s my 2 cents. Good luck on your journey.
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