15 days sober! Could use some good words and congrats

Have you ever practiced asking for help? Because that is very useful

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So much wisdom and helpful, compassionate voices here! It is a joy to see. We are all unique individuals with our own needs or not for praise, feedback, comfortableness with sharing etc. It makes my heart happy to see people respecting and understanding eachother’s needs and boundaries. And being able to disagree constructively and respectfully. It can take so much to put ourselves out there, replying with empathy and compassion (even while disagreeing) is a blessing. Thank you all for being so brave and honest and compassionate. :heart:

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Thank you. I don’t think he’s wrong either, as you said it’s just another opinion and another view of life.

There’s so much diversity here, and the fact that we all are in different ages, with different backgrounds and from different countries makes it even more complicated. But I feel like there’s a pretty high tolerance and that most people do take the time to explain and trying to understand.

@anon89207786 is very humble and I admire that. When I was in the same age I wasn’t even close to being that wise, and caring.

Asking for help or attention or just admit that you need to be seen isn’t easy for anyone. At least i don’t think so.

There’s a scene from a Swedish kids movie I absolutely love. It’s called Seacrow Island.

There’s a family with four kids and a single father. The oldest daughter is helping him to take care of the family, and this day the father have been painting the outdoor furniture set. When he’s done he calls for the daughter and the youngest son to come and see the result.

When they arrives the father says: Look what I did, doesn’t it look nice. Doesn’t it turned out good.

The youngest son answers: Come on dad, don’t be so childish.

The daughter replies: You see, everyone needs to be admired and get credit sometimes, even fathers.

Father says: That’s right and looks a bit sad.

And the son changes his mind and saying: I never thought about that, good job dad, it looks really nice.

I never understood that scene as a kid, but I totally do now. :blush:

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That’s awsome…keep going! One day at a time; I’m currently 36 days sober.

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Congrats on 15 days. I know it feels good, it gets better and better as time goes on, keep it going don’t stop there

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Yes, that’s one of the main things I’m working on at the moment in my life besides sobriety. I had major surgery a few years ago and I had real anxiety over the fact that I would be at the mercy of my SO and my lover, both of whom were more than happy to help out. It was my first real understanding that my pride was more than just pride, it was a problem rooted in something deeper. I grew up in an environment where I learned quickly that if I didn’t take care of myself, then no one would; and that was compounded by the times that I did ask for help, I didn’t receive it. That formed a really unhealthy outlook on life that I carried as an adult.

In understanding those things, I realized that my issue with asking for what I wanted was fueling some really unpleasant passive-aggressive behavior on my part. So I had to start with really simple things as far as asking for help, or saying what I wanted instead of thinking that others should just some how be perceptive enough to know what I wanted. Even a year ago, I never would have signed up for a site like this. I would have thought that I can do it all on my own and I don’t need anyone else to help me with something so personal. But I’m here now and maybe one day I will make it to a meeting. So yeah, little steps, because you’re absolutely right. It is really useful to be able to ask for help.

@MrsOdh That is a really great scene and I found it to be really poignant and touching given the topic. Thank you for sharing that.

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