I am 163 days sober of coke, but have been drinking much more. I am happy I stopped doing coke and feel very good about that recovery path. But lately me and my husband have been drinking so much mostly at home but last night we went out for dinner and again I had too much wine and now (with a massive hangover) I am agonising over the fact that I always have to take it to the next level and embarrass myself talking so much and sounding like an idiot. I am trying to stop drinking but having a hard time. What can I do to leave this destructive cycle?
Have you considered a 12 step group?
What I learned from AA, and I am sure any support group travels a similar path…
The problem is not the substance your using.
Which you are already finding out, the hard way.
Go to some meetings, meet some new friends. The promises are there waiting for you !
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Thank you so much. I will find a meeting close to my apt. I really need help. Going through recovery alone is very hard especially with multiples addictions.
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Let us know how it goes! I’m starting to see that most people who go end up loving it!
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I really need support. This last few months have been really hard binge drinking at least twice a week, blacking out, puking and having a hangover. I spent the day just feeling quite uncomfortable trying to understand why I would put myself in that situation and feeling very guilty. I have a tick that when I get nervous or think I did something wrong I pick my right thump nail until it almost bleeds and hurts a lot, sometimes I look at it and wonder if that’s a representation how I feel.
If you are having trouble finding a meeting just let me know where you are from and I can look some up for you.
There is a really good AA finder you can download on your phone, shows what time and how close to your current location
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As addicts, we do what we know to cope. I’m an alcoholic, so whether it’s punishment or reward, I turn to the bottle.
Did a good thing? Ding! Reward! Drink! Made an ass out of myself drinking because of the good thing? Boo! Bad thing! Drink!
Either way, I still get to cope the way I know how to, my brain gets what it wants, and the cycle repeats. I’m an addict that can copy and paste pretty much anything into the slot, too. Doesn’t need to be booze. Weed, Acid, Coke, Molly… You name it, it’ll get the job done.
Just try to keep that in mind. We are none of us perfect. Just take it one itty bitty baby step at a time. You can get there. 
Thank you. I am 514 days coke free and 272 days alcohol free.
The best decision ever to stop drinking, my life has improved significantly. I don’t look back and don’t feel I am missing out at all. Feel great about not feeling embarrassed of myself and sometimes not even remember what I have done wrong just feel that I have done something bad by the looks I would get and little hints…no more moral or physical hangovers 
I am much happier with so much energy and am directing my energy towards productive and nurturing things like reading, yoga, travelling spirituality and am spending quality time with my friends and family. Read lots of sobriety books to help solidify my sobriety.
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