My life’s a mess and I’m trying to figure it out. It’s hard without and family and friends. I have a beautiful 2 year old daughter and she’s my reason for stopping before I lose the only thing that keeps me going in life and I do have to say one thing the only thing I’m good at is being a good mom. Anyways I’m super sick I have to hide it from my husband which is a whole nother topic we’ve been together 11 years and he changed so much today he’s being nice but I’m not sure what I want anymore. ANYWAYS I squirrel a lot you’ll get use to it lol. I’ve been using oxycodone for quite some time I was on suboxen for 2 years but went right back this is 1st time I’m doing it without. This time around I actual did heroin as few times always sniffing anything I can to make sure I wasn’t sick. I’m feeling very down right now because we are broke and I would have a
Had all the money that we needed if I didn’t do what I’ve been doing (and also when I thought I was getting better n saving money my husband took it all to do god knows what till 5am he says he was working it don’t make sense ) my daughter needs so much I need so much we have to move in a week I have nothing packed no motivation I don’t even have the money to actually move. I might be forced to go dance but I really hate doing that. I also have very bad anxiety and depression and wished I had a good friend or a mom or someone. Anyways thanks for letting me ramble on I’m all over the place in my head. I swear the mental part of detoxing is worse than the pain and sickness
Welcome Krystyl! Oxycodone was my vice too. I also did heroin a few times when I couldn’t get pills just to avoid getting sick. Just thinking about the withdrawals scared the crap out of me. I ended up going to an outpatient detox for 10 days and it was the best decision I made. I’m coming up on 2 years clean next week. I added the savings to my day counter and it’s over $43,000 now. Thinking about all that money I wasted is sickening but I can’t go back in time and change it, so I’m accepting it. Wishing you the best on your recovery journey.
Yes becoming clean is scary Krystyl. For all of us. But being together with people who know the deal and have been there it is just a bit less scary. So you are giving yourself a better chance by coming here and joining us. I’m very glad you are here. So many folks here wanting to reach out and help. And feel free to vent and ramble all you want. Hope it helps you a bit.
You’re encountering some tough times but we both know they are better dealt with clean and sober. You need your wits about you. Hope we can help you with that part. Welcome and success!
Welcome! 
Today is my first day also! I’m not scared I just don’t have a lot of faith in myself. We can do this, “NOTHING ELSE MATTERS”