I had to reset tonight. It’s my 27th birthday, and I had two shots and two beers after my birthday workshift in celebration. I knew exactly what I was doing, and have no plans to make it a “thing”, but I did it, and I had to reset after 26 days.
I didn’t get shitty by any means. I drank slow and enjoyed what I had. A lot of me felt I deserved it, even though I’m seeking sobriety, but we shall see how I feel in the morning.
And how do you feel now? I mean about resetting your clock?
The stubborn side says it’s fine, the brain side says my liver may not be happy tomorrow. I was damn proud of those 26 days. I got a case of the Fuck its.
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Your going to have to be really strong now, it very rarely ends here. We all have thought we deserve one and we all have ended up in a mess 6 months down the road asking ourselves how the hell did this happen. OK you’ve done it now but get that idea of gratification out of your head bc in all honesty you fucked up and there will always be a reason or an excuse to have a drink. It’s not a reward, it’s killing you.
I nearly apologised for being so blunt but no I’m not going to bc I care and I don’t want you to go through what we all have.
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I’m sorry but that was a fucking terrible idea. You shot yourself in the foot with this one. Now your addict brain will have much more grip on you, because you just made yourself believe you deserved it. Now for every special occasion your mind will tell you to drink a bit and when you fall for it it will be a lot of drinking on special occasions, then a lot not just for special occasions but for any occasion. And then you may even have to go to the hospital. And then there’s always the worst case scenario that isn’t very unlikely.
Don’t listen to the asshole in your head, he will destroy you every opportunity he gets.
Congratulations on your birthday btw
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That’s the bit you have to work on buddy.
Find other ways to reward yourself.
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For me, getting sober was more than just not drinking. It was about re-learning how to live. How to celebrate, mourn, be bored…all with alcohol. Plenty of people out there can celebrate without drinking.
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The very idea of “EVERYTHING” without alcohol was what kept me drinking through the years, making myself miserable because I was scared to give up something that made me feel like crap 
pure insanity… so so glad to be out the other end of that…
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That fear in the beginning, for me, was so darn powerful. Hindsight, it makes me laugh that giving up alcohol was so scarry.
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Totally agree, it is so scary, when I say out the other end I am only 43 days sober so it’s still all very new and thanks to the pandemic I havnt yet had to endure going out with friends or family and having to actually not drink, I been invited to go out for dinner with friends but have made excuses why I can’t go but in the back of my mind I know it’s because I don’t want to drink, trying to get sober and also need to learn assertiveness 
no more excuses
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We don’t know what we don’t know. 
I envy young people (meaning people in their 40s and below) who find sobriety and recovery. All those years I wasted pondering it, trying to figure out how I could drink successfully and not feel so horrible physically and mentally. It is sad. But such is life. We all learn at our own pace and that is okay. 
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