2 months sober today. AA confusing me

Two months sober off alcohol today. Surpassed the longest I’ve been sober in 30 years. This makes me feel good and also old AF.

I’ve been going to AA mainly out of some inner obligation. I’m uncomfortable with some of the idealology, but I am open. The thing is I’m doing well on my own. I haven’t wanted or craved at all this final go round. Mortality was a close second to my family this time. The meetings are good, I just don’t feel the need to go right now yet I feel obligated. I was somewhat appointed a sponsor and he is ok. I have these rules I have to follow.

  1. Call every day. Texts don’t count.
  2. Advises 90 in 90
  3. Get 3 numbers from every meeting until I have 5 reliable people.
  4. Call 3 people ever day.

Needless to say I haven’t been too good in the last week calling or going to meetings.

I feel like this is overwhelming right now. Between work and family trying to fit in meetings and make calls is stressing me out. I’ll likely go tomorrow and unlosd this on my sponsor…Need advice.


Congratulations on two months! Major accomplishment!

I would just share how you are feeling with your sponsor. It honest feedback. Hang in there man! You are doing awesome!


Thank you. I appreciate it

I mean. My advice is, everything in AA is a suggestion. One you can take or leave.

More genuinely, I’ve found its best at least to give anything that could help an honest try. Some things I found eventually became something amazing and helped a lot. Others not so much.

The 90 in 90 thing is common advice. It really helps get one’s head in the right place early on, and you quickly get to know lots of meetings and people which is great.

All that said, none of what was suggested are things from the book (though all good suggestions). Hopefully they’re also going through the steps with you?

It’s also totally OK to find another sponsor. I’d only suggest confirming you got a new one before thanking the current one for helping this far.


Recovery is tough and you have done 60 days! I have a sponsor and so try to listen to him because I want to stay sober. Like you I have been dealing with this most of my life. You have more sober time than me brother. I’m at 38 days.

I know my sponsor cares and he listens. I’m sure your sponsor will hear you and might surprise you with some grace and an adjustment.


AA hardliners might ask what you are willing to do to stay sober, and they wouldn’t be wrong. Make 4 phone calls a day? That part seems to be easy. The 90 in 90 thing, yeah it gets to be a pain. At first, I was told to go to “as many meetings as I can”. I wasn’t driving at the time, so it was difficult to get around. I did do something about 5 days a week, though, a meeting or a counseling appointment. And I journaled every day (off step study questions).

By your own admission, your alcoholism tried to kill you. So fight back hard, because your life does depend on it. I’m not saying AA is the way for everyone or the only way to sobriety. But do something that requires effort and at least 2 hours every day. Every. Day.



Something that might help with the 90 in 90 thing is an app called “In The Rooms” .

I just downloaded it today because I read about on a thread here yesterday.

You can find online meetings 24/7 that you can attend online.

I’m about to have two weeks of business trips back to back and won’t be able to hit my normal weekly AA meeting. I’m going to do the online thing to stay connected and combat relapse. It’s an option.


If your sponsor is so hard lined that they can’t negotiate, you might wanna look elsewhere. I love my sponsor but she was “suggesting“ three phone calls every day to others in recovery. I dislike being on the phone way more than the average person. I made a little effort, but it caused me anxiety. My sponsor and I discussed it and she dropped the idea. I found a lot of help on AA Zoom meetings. As I was attending online zoom meetings, I was also shopping around for in person meetings. Just try the suggestions. They are the steppingstones for guiding your path in recovery.


Congrats on 2 months! I would advise you to be wary of the feelings of “i got this” and keep building up your toolbox. That may or may not include aa. Addiction is a tricky bitch


Definitely have an honest convo with your sponsor. Something to note. . . The number on thing that people that had to go back to rehab that contributed to their relapsed was they stopped going to meetings. This is a journey that we are on for rest of our life. The steps don’t have to be done within a certain time period. Only thing you need to do is stay willing and take one step forward everyday. I’m so happy for you. And I’m grateful for your contributions to this community. You help me stay sober.