I’ll be two months sober tomorrow. This is by far the longest I’ve made it. I can kind of feel myself wanting to drink again though. I been getting the thought in my head more often every day that I’d be fine just having a beer or two. I know that that’s not the way it works for me and if I do have one I’ll have 10 or 20 and I’ll be back to drinking everyday.
Does anyone have similar feelings or good tactics to remember how bad things were just a very short while ago?
I’m not sure what I’m looking for and maybe just writing this out will help but I’d take any thoughts or ideas that anyone might have.
I imagine you had a reason for why you stopped drinking for the last two months. And by the way, congrats on two months, great job!
For me, it’s all too easy to remember the bloated feeling as I drank myself stupid in shitty bars. I cringe to think of the men I took home, the danger I regularly exposed myself to, the friendships I ruined, the self disgust I had for myself the next morning and so on.
Waking up without having to try to piece together what happened the night before is a huge relief. Since I stopped drinking, I lost 40 pounds, I started running again, I’ve started writing fiction again, I’ve repaired some (not all) of the relationships I fucked up while drunk, I’ve cleaned up my finances and I’ve been working on learning on how to deal with my stress and anger in ways that don’t result in me vomiting the next morning.
I guess, my question is what good do you think will result from drinking again? For me, the answer to that is none.
Two months is a real accomplishment, keep going! For me, the first six months of sobriety was a drag. But it got better after the first six months and I’m so glad I kept at it. I’ve been sober over five years now and I can tell you that my life is much better than it was when I was drinking.
I felt the same way and I did exactly what @Jane.c did, made a list of the pros and cons. Just writing that list was enough to make me stay on track with my sobriety. It brought back all the bad memories.
If you say no to the first drink you dont have to say no to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th…or 20th…
I thought I could control my drinking, didnt work. After 6 weeks I was drinking more than ever and was back in rehab again. I had 5 or six months sober and flushed it down the toilet.
What does your recovery program look like right now on a daily / weekly basis? What are you willing to add to deepen your commitment to sobriety long-term?
Play it through in your head when your brain starts tricking you. For me it goes like this… I’ll have one drink and enjoy it but will also be thinking no more no more I can moderate, then because wine has drowned out my sobre voice I have another drink. Then it seems like a good idea to get a bottle. Then I’m drinking every night again, with that constant voice going round in my head of I will only have one or two. Which was never and is never going to be achievable for me. Play the whole thing out in your head and say no to that first drink which will take you down the spiral of pain and negativity all over again.
I advise you to watch this video. It can help you accept what you are experiencing. You have hit the wall phase of recovery. The brain is depriving you of dopamine. And your brain trying to figure out what has happens to it.
Yes everyday. So it’s not a trick just do exactly what you said, remember how bad it will make you feel, ask yourself, What do I lose and what do I gain if I have a drink today, I walked past a shop yesterday and even the sign “Beer, wine and spirits” made my mouth water but if I had one I would probably spend the rest of my life with my eyes watering instead in self pity and regret . We can’t just throw away our gift, we might not be lucky enough to have it again. Well done on 2 months tomorrow but for now just do what you have been doing and concentrate on today
. We can’t just throw away our gift, we might not be lucky enough to have it again. Well done on 2 months tomorrow but for now just do what you have been doing and concentrate on today