2 years ago my life was complete chaos.
In the few months and days leading up to getting sober I had been arrested for felony domestic violence, we had been evicted, I was involuntarily committed to a mental health center by way of handcuffs, my own mom had actively tried to get me fired from the job she helped me get almost 10 years beforehand, my kids were placed in foster care, I left my wife, and none of my own family wanted anything to with me.
I deserved every bit of the pain, because I was the one inflicting all of it. I couldn’t stop drinking. I didn’t want to stop drinking. I didn’t even want to see another sunrise most nights.
Nihilism, self pity, self loathing were my currency and I was like scrooge mcduck swimming in my overflowing vault.
After the kids were taken by the state, there were 2 options. Either fuck it all and continue to destroy or commit to sobriety.
Happy today to say I committed to sobriety. I did everything I could to get and stay sober. Followed every detail outlined by the child services/court to get our kids back, all the drug tests, the parent classes, the IOP, the monitored child visits, went back to AA and got a sponsor, went to therapy and couples therapy with my wife, started walking… a lot, joined this app, volunteered my time to people around me.
If something was suggested, I was willing to try it.
My life today isn’t perfect still and that’s just fine, I can actually enjoy life, I can enjoy my kids who we got back 7 months after they were placed, enjoy the company and support of my mom, and I can enjoy my wife and the marriage that was nearly obliterated.
If a low down, dirty fuckbag of a drunk like me can get sober, so can you… so long as you are willing to work and be uncomfortable.
