Starting over again. Several years ago, I had over a year of sobriety under my belt. Then, in a moment of weakness, had a drink. I was able to have one and stop, so I told myself, “maybe you’re ok.” So over time, I’d have a social drink or two. Then I found myself pouring a drink at home on the weekend. Then, one drink became two, two became four. Now I’m losing count, doing stupid/embarrassing things and those are just what I remember. I’m losing chunks of time when I drink.
I got married 10 months ago, and when I drink I’ll pick fights with my husband, who as forgiving as he is, always says “I know it’s not you, it’s the drinking, but I know the drinks help you relax.”
It’s not worth it anymore, I’ve admitted to myself that I have a problem and need to stop, there is no such thing as “one”.
I’m just over 24 hours sober and ready to take this one day at a time…
Welcome back! The good thing is you’ve done this before so you know how to start off, and making it to a year is amazing.
Glad you’re here!
Wow, that’s basically what happened to me. I got sober a few months after I got married because I’d start fights over nothing and sometimes I wouldn’t even remember… I just noticed my husband was “strange” and I couldn’t even tell what id done. Then, after more than two years I started having a little bit of wine with dinner. When we moved out of our country I thought I had it. I was ok, I could control myself. But things changed with COVID and a cancer scare. I started drinking more and more, until I realized I was in too deep.
I’m glad you realized you have a problem. This time around, my husband thinks I don’t have that big of a problem because I mostly just drank, cried and passed out. We didn’t fight, but I was a crappy wife. He was always giving and I was taking. I didn’t add anything to the relationship because I was either too drunk or too hangover to do anything.
I’m still working stuff out. It’s been 2 weeks but I’ve accomplished so much that I can’t imagine drinking again. If I think about not having alcohol for the rest of my life it gets scary. So, it’s good to think about one hour at the time, one day at the time.
I hope you succeed in your journey. 
Thank you for the encouraging words. As I was going through other topics, I saw your post from a couple weeks ago. Very, very similar. My husband knows what I drink, so he’ll buy a bottle (or 3) for me to have in the house and then say, just have a glass or 2, not realizing that the more I have the more I want, even though want isn’t the right word, I just can’t stop pouring.
He was away this weekend and I thought I’d have one mixed drink to fill his absence…and you know where that went. During the week, I’m fine, I don’t crave alcohol, just once I start, there’s no stopping until I drink everything in the house or pass out.
It’s a horrible creeping thing isn’t it, and that’s why it’s so scary, it tricks us, and steals time from us.
Your story reminds me of so many of my own, it was “just one drink at Christmas” that started the chain reaction.
This is the magic of this group. We find people who can relate to us and who had been in the same situation. I asked my husband not to offer me drinks and not to ask me if I want anything. Because the question always means “do you want wine?”
I drank 10, 12 liters of wine a week easily. It won’t be easy to stop, but the “avoid the first drink” thing resonates with me. I know I can’t stop if I start. So, get rid of all the alcohol you have in your house. don’t let him buy anymore. Stay strong. You’ll see how great your life will be without it!
This resonates with me. The not knowing when to stop, the spouse who is trying to be kind but is enabling your drinking…
As someone who is very, very new to sobriety, I’m impressed that you made it to a year before! You can definitely do it again.
Exactly, the “one”. But then as it creeped back up, I’d stop for a while, then came another “just one” and here we are.
I’ve had this platform for several years. When I fell off after the year, I found this forum and I would stay sober here and there, but my pride would always get in the way and I’d tell myself I was stronger that the alcohol. Time to finally realize that’s not the case.
I was a binge drinker, and my husband knew I binge drank when he worked nights. He begged me to drink just a couple with him. But I couldn’t. I would sneak drinks before the ‘couple’ with him. Sneak drinks after we were supposed to be done. I stopped drinking thru both my pregnancies, thought I could drink normally afterwards. But the odd one became the odd three, then the frequent five, then the very often seven. When u and ur partner really realise that none is actually easier, then u are on ur way.
Welcome back, Rory - I remember you!
Good to see you’ve returned.
Hey TMAC! I remember you as well, you were a great help to me before. I appreciate you reaching out and remembering me.