Hi everyone,
I’m 26 days sober today. Yesterday something happened that really tested me.
A friend of mine was traveling home late at night. He asked someone for directions, but that guy was drunk and ended up beating him. Today my friend called and wanted to go back there to confront him. I joined him along with four others.
The problem is—everyone with me was drinking. They even bought a bottle on the way. Being around alcohol again, especially in that heated situation, triggered my cravings really hard.
I honestly felt like I would relapse.
I didn’t drink, but the main reason is because I’m on Disulfiram, and I’m scared of what would happen if I drank. If I wasn’t on it, I think I would have given in.
I feel a bit shaken after this. It reminded me how vulnerable I still am and how easily a situation can get out of control.
Has anyone else experienced being suddenly surrounded by alcohol in situations like this? How do you handle it?
That sounds like not only a triggering situation that could jeopardize your sobriety but also an incredibly dangerous situation overall. I have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to confront someone like that who has already proven to be an unstable threat in situation that honestly has nothing to do with them . This has BAD IDEA written all over it from every possible angle . Personally I would avoid all people involved going forward but that’s just me.
Why? Just why did you go? To retaliate? To help your friend get revenge?
There is a big difference between “not drinking alcohol” and sobriety. Actual deep rooted sobriety where you refrain from negative attitudes and behaviours that can hurt or harm you or others.
Maybe you didn’t physical drink, but you surely behaved like a drunk.
Re-evaluate your relationship with your friends and their intentions and influence on you as much as with alcohol itself.
I would have said no, letting myself get enraged in a situation like that would’ve been very bad for me. It would’ve made me be impulsive and respond in a negative manner. Since I got sober, I keep my temper in check and don’t think an act of revenge would solve anything. If I had been attacked like your friend,I would’ve gone to the authorities and filed a report. I wouldn’t involve myself in some one else’s affairs. As unfortunate as it is that your friend was attacked, not my circus, not my monkeys.
violence isn’t an acceptable behavior in recovery man, period. revenge, pay back, all not okay.
Yes, you are supposed to just let it go and call the cops. we follow the rules now. we’re goody-goods.
Snitching doesn’t exist in recovery, that mindset has to go.
The next right thing is to be there for your friend, help him in any way that you can, and stay out of situations that threaten your freedom.
He got beat up, not you. The BigBook of AA actually says we ceased fighting all people places and things and that tolerance acceptance and love is our code.
good luck going forward man, i’ll say a prayer for ya.
You need to take a good hard look at who you surround yourself with. It sounds like after years of drinking, your social circle is full of drinkers. You become what you surround yourself with. If you swim in the mud, you are going to get dirty.
This is a fucked up situation. Ask yourself if this is really the kind of man you want to be. I don’t think that you can keep being around these so-called “friends” and have a healthy, sober, happy life. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
This sounds like a good topic to bring up at your next meeting. In early recovery making good decisions is almost as hard as not drinking. Before making any big decisions or potentially stupid ones ask yourself two questions.
I’m so far from the old ghetto mentality.
I would have just stayed out of it.
I ran from all of that.
Sobriety, eventually will help you when to not get involved.
Don’t get me wrong brotha, If he is your boy, he is your boy. I don’t know how Dubai works. But, i get it man. I used to pull up on dumb shit, being reckless.
But, looking back, i think I had to be in 4 situations, and if I really thought about it, I think it really was only one. One that i simply had no control over.
My boy and I were in a bad spot just walking, going to the store. Anyways.. othrr than that, they were all because I chose it.
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Its all thoughts of wisdom here. Looking at the picture. Not getting yourself in bad jams for the ego. Getting in a jam as you’re starting YOUR new life.
..
I know 26 days isnt a lot, and im not judging at all. Im just saying, dont get caught up as you are starting your new life. I sound like a old person, but, you go attack them. What if they pull out a, you know.
Think about the choices. People don’t play fair. I’ve seen it, you may have too, one wrong move.
