I am so very, very proud to say that I am over 3 months sober. My journey has been fairly easy because of my friends and family that support me and my decision to live a sober life.
With that being said, I am wavering between the idea of having a drink or two with my younger brother on his birthday: January 6th. The only reason I am entertaining the idea of drinking is because it will be for his 21st… I feel like I can handle it, but I am equally scared to become enticed to continue after his birthday. I have a highly addictive personality, so I am nervous that I will fall back into my destructive routine. However, this is a significant birthday for my little brother. I’m really not sure how to proceed…
I hear ya! I’m the same way! I feel like I can handle it but am afraid one night out will lead to 3 to 4 again! I’m so weeks no alcohol and am gonna keep it going! I’m sure ull make the right decision that’s best for you!
Don’t, he will understand. HIM having his first legal drink is fine but there is no reason to risk your sobriety on a birthday. Are you entertaining the idea because you think it’s going to be important to him? Or because you are looking for a legitimate excuse to indulge? Even if you could theoretically “handle it” would you really want an experience that is going to reinforce that you like drinking? I have an incredibly addictive behavior pattern as well and from my own experience there is only ever the illusion of control with drinking. The last time I relapsed before I quit for good was because I was going to have two beers with a friend who I hadn’t seen in almost 15 years who didn’t know I was struggling with alcohol. That spiraled into almost a week of drinking “in control” not blacking out, or doing anything stupid, just having a few drinks everyday. Which then snowballed into the worst relapse I’ve ever had. All using the same logic. I guess really ask yourself if you are drinking for him or for yourself because you think you miss it?