First, I’d like to say great job on 30 days. That’s truly awesome, and you should be proud of your efforts.
You know, sometimes as we go through our lives, we deal with enough situations where people have let us down, and we’ve felt like we didn’t matter, that this would be a natural defense system. I’m not saying that is your experience, but it’s not uncommon.
And truthfully? You can never truly know, I suppose. People always have their own motivations to everything. But my thoughts on this are that if a person is willing to act in a sponsor role for you, and they reach out, they are there when you reach out, if they go through all the motions that one would expect a sponsor to do, then they obviously care enough to take the time out of their day to provide that service, yes?
Life is busy, man. People have a lot of things they want to do with their time. So there would need to be at least a little care involved to give you a little piece of their life. For what is interacting with another than spending minutes from your limited living bank account?
It could help if you took some time to think about what you want and/or need from a sponsor. It is easy to feel let down by another person when they fail to live up to an ideal that could be vague at best. What actions would your sponsor need to take for you to feel like they do care, even a little, about your well being? Be honest with yourself in this.
Then get to know people. Once you find someone you think might be a good fit, talk to them about your list, what you need/want from a sponsor, and make sure that they are able to fulfill that need/want. Find out from them what they expect from you as your sponsor. Make sure you’re a good fit.
Giving a shit can be a little subjective. I can tell you that while I don’t know you, I give a shit enough about your recovery, to sit here and type all this up. It’s not a huge shit, but it’s a shit, yeah? It will be good for you to know what your own expectations from others so they can be met.
Good luck and, again, great job on 30 days.