I’ve been doing really well with meditation and working out lately trying to.turn my life around. This weekend was a friend’s bday and I told myself, hey go.for one or two, buy him a couple and go home. That didn’t happen and I went off on a binge. I know it happens but i feel toxic shame right now as I’m in bed out of it. I hate it because it usually takes me a.few days to recover and that takes away from my meditation and working out. i’m happy I’ve found this application.
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This is a great place to be!!! Stay strong and today is a new day 
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The shame surrounding a relapse can be really hard on the mind, but try to grow from this experience. You’ve got plenty of support here, focus on giving yourself a break and then get right back up and start again! Just like @Kmills888 said, today is a new day! 
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I started this journey a few months ago. I realized that I couldn’t do this anymore. Finding this forum was awesome. I’m pretty spiritual so I feel like everything happens for a reason. If it wasn’t for this weekend I wouldn’t have learned things nor would I have come across this forum. There have been a few occasions where I only had a beer or two and been fine but mostly not. Most of the time I need other things after. I have a bag of issues I’m dealing with that I would use things to numb. I look at this weekend and today and think…if you keep on doing the same old you’ll keep getting g the same old
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That is so true! I started my journey 6 months ago and just made it to 50 days. A lot of relapsing around 14-30 days for me and seemed like a hump I couldn’t seem to get over. Finally I stopped shaming myself every time I would relapse and just took it as a sign that I still needed to work on my triggers, habits, and weaknesses! I’m finally over that mental hump and I’m not looking back so far!
Everything does happen the way it should and that’s awesome that you look at it that way! I was a binge drinker/drug user so if you ever need to talk I’m here. 
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“Don’t dwell on past experiences.
Your past is in the past.
You have been caught, and you will see that your alcohol problem is not your fault.
Forgive yourself.”
I think that’s from the big book, something I saved in my journal a while back that really helped when I relapsed.
Anyways, today is a new day, go easy on yourself!
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Thanks @Livy and @Elisabeth. I really appreciate it. I know what recovery looks like. Other day I went out with my ex. She and I started off wanting to heal together but it failed. I started the day great. I saw the man I wanted to be. I meditated before we met up and It felt great to act like the man I always wanted to be. Then we drank and did drugs. She stopped me from going into a binge. I saw both sides. I saw who I want to be and who I didn’t. That was the best part. Seeing that I had the ability. I also have BPD (borderline personality disorder) which is a gift and a curse. That day I saw how it can be a gift and a curse. Most of my life it’s been a curse. I’m going to make it a gift. Finding this forum helps so much.
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That’s what I hated the most from nights of drinking. I would do great all week working out and eating healthy and boom it went to the trash because it would take me 2 whole days to recover physically and another week for mental clarity. Keep on trying. Never give up. That’s all that matters. Never give up.
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I agree … It’s going to be the same for me. Plus the stupid spending. Speed bumps happen. The slow ypu down from where you gotta go but they don’t stop the journey
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After my last 36 hr binge I wrote this:
Please don’t be offended by my religious content. This is my personal note I wrote for strength.
To Myself;
You have literally suffered for three days now. “DONT EVER DO THAT AGAIN!” Find the meaning to life through your lord, forgive others! Your past is the past. Read this anytime you think it will be fun to let go. Your are awesome! You are the best person I know. Don’t ruin it with sins of the flesh.
You are the lord’s child. Anytime you think you’re alone, know that the lord stands beside you. He’s holding you up, he hugging you, he’s holding your hand and lastly he has unconditional love for you.
The trails and tribulations you have experienced and will experience, has happened and is happening to make you a better person. Understand your sacrifice and pain is felt and shared with the lord. You are not alone.
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Try to get yourself back on track and don’t dwell on it to much. We are here for you
Sorry to hear that. I was also a long time binge (I could made it up to 3 days drinking and not sleeping).
We’re here for you anytime, don’t give up and believe in yourself. You’re now wiser than yesterday
Beautiful lines.
That happened to me a lot. Seems like the more old we are, the hungovers are stronger and longer.
I needed at least 3 days to recover from the body poisoning alcohol.
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Oh definitely age was a factor. I would notice so many things “off” with myself for days. Numbness, digestion, taste buds, fatigue galore, bloat, headaches, etc. the list is endless.
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