4 days clean and struggling


#1

Its never the physical wothdrawal that makes ne want to cave. Sure, it’s rough, the pain sucks, my stomach might hurt, throwing up, yeah yeah whatever. But that’s not what I’m scared of. Its day 4 when the physical withdrawal starts to stop… but you don’t feel any better… in my head… I am so scared. The thoughts I have. Omg… I don’t even know how to get out of bed. The depression. The physiological torture. I know I did this to myself and I shouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself because it’s my fault I’m in this mess. But damn it’s so hard. A huge part of me just wants to say “fuck it whats the point.” Is life really better sober? Please tell me it is guys… I am not okay.


#2

It does get better and you need to try and push the thoughts out of your head. I know it’s easier said then done, but it can be done. You need to retrain your mind to stop dwelling on things, distracting yourself and clearing your mind is key. If you carry on feeling really bad you might be suffering with depression. I was, and found that after a few weeks of taking antidepressants the way I thought about life completely changed. It might be worth talking to your doctor. I still get shitty thoughts but I don’t keep them in my head for long, if I do they get worse and worse and I’d be reaching for the bottle eventually. Try to get out of the house, do something you love, stay in close contact with people who care about you, do those tasks that you keep putting off. I’ve never been to a meeting but they really help some people so maybe give that a Try? It might help to actually see and speak to people that have been through the same thing. Saying that, this site has really helped me out as well, being able to relate when I read everyone’s experiences.
Don’t give up, take control of your life again. No one has ever regretted getting sober.
Good luck and here if you need to talk.
:hugs:


#3

Yes, it’s worth it! Just a couple months ago I was a swirling mass of negative emotions and thoughts. Depression, guilt, anxiety. On the daily. No breaks. I felt like I could never break this chain of addiction- so why did I try so hard? And those first few days are the hardest, the worst. But you will not die. You have to hang on. I was a zombie my first two weeks. The second part of a month, I was getting some breaks in the negativity. After 30 days, it was gone. I still get feelings of sadness and boredom, but for real reasons- not alcohol or drug induced. That’s life. But the cycle of the destruction of my body and soul was broken. I used to feel like you do now, and not that long ago. Hang on, hang on with all your strength for another day and it will get better!


#4

Exactly like that, day by day, feel shitty,depressed and whatever comes up, just dont cave in…amd then new things come up, not feeling completely shitty,not depressed as much, and day by day fighting till one day you feel hmmm ok,i would say good enough… And so on untli you start feeling awesome !!!


#5

@remakingsunshine very well put. I think we have all been there. I can say I have been feeling the exact way you are right now. Today I’m 100 days sober and it’s totally worth it. It will get better, but it’s gonna be a fight. Stay strong. :shamrock:


#6

It does and will get better! One day at a time! @Chels2017 hit the nail on the head… and try some meetings. Get out of self and your head. Being in my head is a terrible place to be sometimes.
I would suggest hitting some meetings. AA, NA, SMART whatever A, just go. Give it a try. Go in with an open mind though and be willing all the way around.
You can do this. It is going to be ok.


#7

Recovery is an absolute reinvention of your entire self… Things that used to be so, so difficult seen to come naturally. Things that one was once terrified to even think about doing are suddenly easy. I have 593 days in recovery and and I am a completely different man today. You are may be struggling because if all of the damage caused by the havoc if your addiction. It won’t be easy but Gid help me if it wasn’t the BEST thing I have ever done in my life! Yes, IT IS WORTH IT, and more importantly YOU are worth it! Don’t give up and fight every day and you will see that after the cob webs begin to clear, your the struggle will get a bit easier… You can do it, every human has the capacity to change…STAY STRING, ONE DAY AT A TIME