It does get better and you need to try and push the thoughts out of your head. I know it’s easier said then done, but it can be done. You need to retrain your mind to stop dwelling on things, distracting yourself and clearing your mind is key. If you carry on feeling really bad you might be suffering with depression. I was, and found that after a few weeks of taking antidepressants the way I thought about life completely changed. It might be worth talking to your doctor. I still get shitty thoughts but I don’t keep them in my head for long, if I do they get worse and worse and I’d be reaching for the bottle eventually. Try to get out of the house, do something you love, stay in close contact with people who care about you, do those tasks that you keep putting off. I’ve never been to a meeting but they really help some people so maybe give that a Try? It might help to actually see and speak to people that have been through the same thing. Saying that, this site has really helped me out as well, being able to relate when I read everyone’s experiences.
Don’t give up, take control of your life again. No one has ever regretted getting sober.
Good luck and here if you need to talk.