Little did i realise 4 years ago that it was never going to be just about not drinking…
Once i stopped drinking i had no idea who is was anymore if im honest because I didn’t want to know… all i did know back then was i wanted to be the best mother i could be to my daughter, someone suggested I look into the reasons why i had become who I’d become…so after months of soul searching finally the penny dropped and i realised that for my daughter to be as happy as i wanted her to be then i need to be happy too, i realised id lost myself to addiction, motherhood and life in general…truly believing that aslong as i was a decent mother and my daughter was happy then i didnt matter, lots of demons from childhood, past events and the breakdown of the relationship with my daughters father made me think that id basically failed at life, all id ever wanted was a family of my own and when that broke down i felt like a complete failure. I have worked extremely hard on myself since then, getting to know myself again…working on my self worth and confidence i began trying to carve out a decent life for myself, my little girl and my partner Adam…this last year in particular ive placed a big emphasis on how I treat people and how I allow myself to be treat… its safe to say my world has definitely become alot smaller… some people have left of their own accord and others ive distanced from to protect myself and my sobriety, its not been easy at times but I guess nothing worth doing ever was, its easy to know the worth of my nearest and dearest but still alot harder to place worth on myself, i might not be fully there yet but i guess we are all a work in progress…still lots to work on that but thats ok. What I do have now are the people in my life that I know I can trust, that love me unconditionally and vice versa. I am grateful to my past alcoholism these days because without it I would have never looked at myself so closely.
Sobriety will always have a top priority in my life because the way i see it is without that i cannot have anything else which is basically everything and everyone that i hold dear.
I dont believe in perfection, plus that would be boring! However, i can easily say that overall I am so much happier in every aspect of my life so far…I finally have the little family that I always dreamed of and who I love dearly 
A huge thank you to my amazing daughter Sofia and my wonderful partner Adam. @dogtoothcowboy I love you both beyond words.
As always a massive thank you to all of you fantastic people on here because I couldn’t do any of this without your support, kindness and understanding.
I may not always write on here but I am still on here every single day, I am here to stay.
I am still greatful every day for my sobriety and have never regretted getting sober.
My love to you all.
Kelly
Here’s to year 5…
super congrats on 4 years hun 
