5 weeks in and feeling worse than ever

Morning all,just wanted to check in,last week has been a nightmare tbh,for 3 solid days I’ve had this awful cravings hanging over my head,I’m happy I reached out and shared but still it was like living a fucking nightmare.i manage to just about get it under control then I find out my mum might have lung cancer,we have to wait for test so trying to stay positive, yesterday I woke up feeling awful and I had to go visit my brother who is an addict +hardwork) so in turn all this built up stress caused me to have full on aneixty and panic attacks had to do loads of deep breathing to keep it under control.i wish I knew how to let go of things that don’t serve me well but if I’m honest I don’t know how to it’s my son’s 9 th b day today so staying positive for him as I’m really finding it hard to do it for myself.xim 5 weeks in and tbh I’m feeling worse than ever .XX sending hugs to you all.xx I will keep reaching out until this dark cloud passes.x

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Hey mate, I can’t relate to the cravings you’re feeling but regardless of that, it sounds like you’re going through a lot right now and it’s totally ok to feel overwhelmed and anxious about that. It sounds like you’re building some strategies to help you get through the worst of that which is brilliant. Keep it up!

Five weeks is amazing but think of how long you’ve been using. It will take more than five weeks to learn how to deal with life and that’s ok. I’m definitely still working on it! Every 24 hours you add is another day of learning how to do life on life’s terms. Take it minute by minute when you need to.

What’s the plan for the birthday boy today?

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Hey siand,thanks for that your words soothe my worried soul abit ,so that I’m grateful for,he’s having friends round and I’m taken them to a softplay to run of some steam hrs then coming home to hangout at the house with one of them and play with his b.day and Xmas toys .my head feels so full of so many thoughts and feelings and I really don’t know what to do with it all ,my old way would be using but that’s not an option.so I guess like you say I’m living life on life’s terms and tbh it sucks but I’m a fighter ,I know that much and this my friend is the fight of my life.xxx

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Do you do anything like meditation, yoga or journalling? I find that when I can do those things they are often quite helpful to order my thoughts. But when I can’t, I try and just keep the serenity prayer in mind.

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I know patience is not something addicts usually have in abundance :see_no_evil: but give it time, things will change. It’s ok not to have all the answers. Focus on what you can do today and trust the rest will happen :pray::sparkling_heart:

Sounds like you have a fun day planned for them! Look forward to being present, the best gift you can give your son :hugs:

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I do a dairy eveynight I also do daily exercise yoga and cardio depends how I’m feeling so as the saying goes (two out of three ain’t bad.bless you and thanks for your kind words xx I start smart recovery tomorrow hopefully that will start to help me work on things.xx

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Congratulations with your son’s birthday Emma, sorry to hear you are going trough rough times.
Any idea when you get the results from the test?

She has to wait until Tuesday to even go in for CT scan then it’s a waiting game,I’d say atleast a week and a half maybe 2 xx

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Hi Emma, did you take the time to watch the Roadmap to recovery yet?

Your brain is not giving out any dopamine at the moment. Check it out it might help you to calm those nerves a bit (acceptance)

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I do not understand why these things has to wait so long :cry: Here in the Netherlands it’s the same…Waiting, waiting and waiting. That’s hard. Hoped it was different in your country.

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I haven’t yet but I will have a look at it today.xxthanks mate

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Keep you head up, girl. Life loves to shit on us sometimes, all we can do is what you are currently doing. In the end, you will learn more coping skills and strategies for dealing with crisis. You know you have us here when you need us. You are so much stronger than you know. Your commitment to this journey is inspiring to me. It’s a great reminder to keep fighting everyday!

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Cheers sweet ,yeah life is being a bitch ATM but I’m not caving in at the first sightf hardwork it just feels like there’s been no let up from it for a week now it’s been one thing after another but what can I do sit and moan or get on with it ,I’ve always been one to get on with so that trait along with my stubborn side will help me out in this case ,my smart recovery starts tomorrow.xx

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Hi Em, sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time. Recovery is a tough road and probably harder because we addicts never learned to process life on its own terms before. We’re sort of learning to walk from day 1 :joy:

But it sounds like you have a good day planned for your son, I know he will enjoy it :grinning: and it sounds like you have a few things to keep you engaged with yourself, reflecting, accepting. You’re a good person, you’re worthy, and you deserve a healthy, sober life. Looking forward to hearing back from you soon :innocent:

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Thanks Matt you are truly a sweetheart.:sun_with_face:

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Sending you lots of love and strength Emma. I was a sobbing mess at 5 weeks ! It took me until the 3 months stage to feel better. You got alot going on at moment so be kind to yourself. Hope your son has a lovely birthday x

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Hi there! I’m sorry you’re in a tough phase right now. Been there. It does pass and it does get better. Keep taking it one day at a time and focus on the things you can control. Your mother’s health is not something you can control so try not to spend too much energy living in the future. Just be present. I also recommend you watch the video @ThajokerNL shared. It was a game changer for me. :blush: Hang in there lady. You’re doing great even if it doesn’t feel like it.

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Thankyou u so kind with your words of hope

Hi lovely :kissing_heart: Pains me you are struggling. I think life’s challenges feel so much harder when not falling back on our evil vices. They are so real and scary, but be proud you are not falling back on your evil vice for support, you are facing lifes problems head on. You aren’t sticking your head in the sand. I’m damn proud if you Emma. You should be too xxx

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Thanks shiv79 no I’m definitely not ,o can’t and don’t want what I left behind,so today I push on thru .xx

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How did the party go? Hope smart meeting goes well too :blush: