Oct 23, 2012 (the day after my 25th bday) was the first day of what would become 5 years off of meth and the needle. It was the most life-changing, encouraging, confidence boosting day of my life. I finally KNEW I would be break through the chains that were my addiction. The first couple years were a constant battle , but my sobriety was worth each struggle.
Oct 23, 2017 (the day after my 30th bday) I admitted to my husband I was once again using and had been for the past couple months, daily. Having never been an addict, it broke his heart in pieces.
At that moment it hit me.
Out of NOWHERE I was right back where I daughter so hard to get away from EXACTLY 5 years prior. I was on the path to destroying my family and every other aspect of my life AGAIN. How did this happen?!!
Complacency is an addicts biggest enemy next to one’s self, and unbeknownst to me, that’s exactly what I’d allowed to happen.
I was comfortable, thought I was in the clear. I had that shit beat… hahaha stupid me.
It’s a whole new journey starring into my 30’s and I’m starting it terrified, humble, and alert, yet more determined than ever to never be back in this position again.
Goes to show that sobriety, even after 5 years, can become fleeting in an instant.
But…
Just for today, I will continue to improve myself by changing my addiction fueling characteristics and behaviors. And
Just for today… I will not get high. Fingers crossed for tomorrow’s day 6.
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You did it once you got sober and you can do it again…
Be proud of taking the decision to stop and really commit to it…
Remember what you will lost everytime you have a feeling that you want to get back to it…
Stay strong and you will make it…
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