Yeah I get it, its all about balance though. I think that we are capable of putting ourselves in situations like that if our spirit is alive.
I don’t know about you but when I am in active addiction my spirit gets sucked from me. Since being in recovery I literally have felt lighter, brighter. (Maybe I sound crazy… ) Anyways my addict is still very alive in me and I can get taken down the rabbit hole fast so I work my ass off to keep my spirit alive. Because I work my ass off situations like you are mentioning don’t make me feel any sort of way. They did before because I was missing something… I was missing me.
I agree with you I don’t think that you can ask anyone to change for you. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some recovery friends there playing pool with you too?