52days sober, Friends leaving party tomorrow


#1

Hi all,

I have had a relatively easy time so far as i’ve avoided all situations where I can be tempted and my “rock bottom” moment really reinforced how serious this is. But tomorrow one of my friends at work is leaving after working with me for the last 2 years. I really want to go to the leaving party but…it is in a pub, in the nightlife area of our city, with probably 30 people going, a lot of whom are people in their mid 20s who love starting everyone drinking.

The last leaving party I went to I didnt buy a single drink because the cheeky people kept swapping me a new drink to try and keep me out and get me drunk. I had a good time and it was a really fun night…but I did get drunk enough to smoke a cigarette through my nose! Not recommended!

At this stage I feel really good that I do not want to drink. But I dont know how I will react when i get out there. I have no urges to drink and my anxiety is very well controlled at the moment. I have told all my friends that are going that I dont drink anymore and they’re all fine with it.

So now to the actual point…do you think I should go or give my apologies and avoid the situation? I know its up to me in the end but based on your experiences, what would you do?


#2

Take this friend to lunch with just the two of you. That’d be way more special than going to a loud ass bar, with obnoxious ass people and having most of them forget the night anyway. Most likely they would hardly notice if you weren’t there, but if you take your friend to lunch they will always remember you as the person who cared more than the rest of the co-workers


#3

At 52 days I’d have lunch with him instead. More personal, no stress & skip the bar :+1:t3:


#4

See above copy cat :joy:


#5

OMG I’ve been on TS waaaaaay too long! I’m thinking like @Englishd!? :flushed::grimacing::joy:


#6

You poor thing! Although i was about to say how i never agree with him but thats a good idea.


#7

Personally, I have gone to a few parties around people drinking (with a plan: I drove, had tasty sugary drinks in mind, drink in hand at all times, left early). Also ended up smoking a ridiculous amount which wasn’t ideal but that’s my next thing to focus on once summer is out of the way!

If you’re worried you’ll be tempted to the point of no return then going out for lunch sounds like a really good alternative. Either way let us know what you decide and how you get on :blush:


#8

Give it a body swerve do whats best for your soberiety wish you well


#9

Lunch is the way to go. Much more personal and not a danger to you. I think the pub party is not worth the risk, especially if the majority of folks there don’t know you are in recovery.


#10

If you do go, make a plan. And stick to it. Things like…
*Always have a non alcoholic drink in your hand. And keep it full. People won’t offer if you always *have a full drink:)
Next is have an answer ready for if people ask why you aren’t drinking. So as to not b caught off guard.
*have an escape plan!! Know what you are gonna do if you get triggered. Like Go somewhere private for a few to call another alcoholic or even come here. Or just bail if it’s that bad. It’s a good idea to drive yourself so you aren’t stuck there. Ya know?

Just plan for anything and everything. Suprises are bad for us in a situation like this. Because then we get uncomfortable and turn to what we know… A drink


#11

Thanks for the feedback :slight_smile:
I’ve decided Im going to go to eat dinner with people because it starts at 7pm, then head off before the evening. I know a few people who are working today and tomorrow who are doing the same to avoid being too tired for work tomorrow. So it shouldn’t look rude.

Then Im going out with my work mate thursday evening to a quiz night with a few other friends. I thought the idea of taking them out separately was great.

My escape plan:

  • Im driving to the station so got a reason I can’t drink.
  • Soda water and Lime drinks all night
  • Leaving after meal with all tomorrows work people

Thanks again everyone
:slight_smile: