First I’m so sorry for your loss❤️
But on another note I accidentally just binge watched a house wives show. I did not like it but I definitely watched the whole thing and then crocheted a pair of shorts:joy: my day = very unproductive 
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haha nice! thats awesome tho, anyday ur not getting high or drunk is more productive than if you were you know what i mean… crocheting sounds interesting
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Yeah it’s something I took up to help stay sober. I’m bad at it… but mark my words, one day I’ll be as good as the old ladies😄
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Sorry, fell asleep.
Think it is a slug that lives in the sea, that can also photosynthesise. And looks like a sheep 
aww omg so precious!! just a little baby. will have to keep the forum updated with lots of pictures of him sooo cute
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I had to do that with a kitten once. A warm wash cloth and hold her over the toilet when you do. They really need to be stimulated to poop. I’m glad you found her.
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Where did you find her? Oh this just makes my heart hurt. Her little eyes still closed. I really hope she makes it. Mother’s often move their kittens. Was she alone for a long time? Please keep us posted.
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aw so precious… i hope the little furry one makes it <3
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Omg 
I just saw this. My deepest deepest condolences… 
How have u been managing?
Its getting better honestly…
I felt really guilty that I was not closer with my sister, when she was in the hospital as her condition worsened and when she passed. The past week has been a lot of processing.
But a part of that processing is hopping back into reality and first of all realizing a few things and secondly remembering a few things.
And its right now, at least, as I process everything, at a level of “it is what it is.”
There was a lot of neglect in my childhood, a lot of favoritism not directed towards me but my surviving sister, and just etc, etc. you know what i mean, lots of drama/gossip as i was growing up and getting older.
My philosophy has always always been:
I get to know people on my own terms.
If I want to know what is up with somebody I go to the source, otherwise its only gossip and holds very little merit and yes, it does damage relationships. My family has a huge issue with this concept and I just have never understood it.
So yeah, as i said. “it is what it is.”
There is of course a lottttttt more to it than that, some stuff i had forgotten about, and etcetera.
I come out of the situation wanting to mend and have some form of a relationship with my family. I do. But I believe 100% we will not all ever see eye-to-eye.
There is just a lot about me and my life that my family does not understand, or how they contributed. My father was an alcoholic himself and so whether its gaslighting or just blacking events out, any bad event brought up is always “that never happened” and yeah my ex was abusive and tried gaslighting me constantly and its just not something that i tolerate any longer.
it will be difficult, but maybe a prayer for healing can work. They truly all just have zero idea everything i went through in the past decade, much of it completely unrelated to alcohol but more so abusive relationships and having no stability in my life.
Processing this is brutal with a disfunctional family. Thanks for reading.
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Her eyes are closed because of the infection, not age, she is 4 or 5 weeks. Actually the mother was probably still around but not looking after properly, she hadn’t eaten for two or three days, the vet said. There is a group of stray cats, they regularly have kittens and almost all die. I can’t usually catch them, but these two were weak and unable to see so siow.
I do understand the pain of a passing in a dysfunctional family. It means the regret is so much stronger, because now there is absolutely no chance for anything to change. Not that anything would change, and certainly the past cannot change
Tired but determined. My heart goes out to you be strong and keep talking here as you heal
Oh thanks for explaining♥️ I’m glad you were able to try to help. I hate seeing animals suffer.
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well tomorrow is the memorial. not sure when the funeral is yet as there will be an autopsy first.
Im not looking forward to it.
Greiving has been awful so far.
First there was guilt then there was anger at all the drama and disfunction in my family and i just dont feel comfortable.
anxiety has been thru the roof
of course i binge drank and i HAVE TO BE done with it.
Im just in a bad place right now mentally thinking i will be alone for every single death in my family.
i am sober now but recovering all day
family is a huge reason i ever drank the way that i did.
im just numb right now. im greateful i got myself feeling better but it comes and goes the issues are always going to be there the mistrust is always going to be there resentment so on and so forth. i was the “black sheep” in my family for whatever reason, just left out and kind of neglected especially when it came to my health… i feel anyways.
i have been doing so much reflecting on my childhood to today and i know it is a common thing to remember bad over good (as in there is a real psycholigcal reason for it)
its besides the point, for real…
all i know, is all i want in my life is happiness.
continuing the fight to stay sober means i might actually find someone one day, who does care about my wellbeing, and in that way ill have the opportunity to have what i always wanted growing up.
i have no idea how i dont give up as i clearly just dont do well being alone.
i know im rambling but im trying to process everything i have going on family, work, other people, the alcohol of course. im real depressed right now and could use some cute animal photos or silly jokes.
thanks for reading