My English is very bad, I’m so sorry!!!
Recently, I understand that I’m tearing myself away for nothing. I just don’t feel good enough in terms of my body. I look at the thin classmates and friends, and then I look at myself in the mirror and see in him a disgustingly fat woman. I don’t feel attractive, although not so long ago I got a guy who loves me with all my heart. He loves me for who I am, says that I am beautiful. But the problem is that I can’t love myself. And this … shame … I put it on my feet … just … I cut them. And my boyfriend doesn’t know this, we don’t live together. I also overeat, and then in a quiet hysteria I run it all to spit out the toilet. I’m tired of this. I just cry and can’t concentrate on anything, and I’m studying at the university …
I do not know what to do…
Your English is great don’t worry
Thankyou for coming here and checking in
Awsome if you could check in here daily?
I know the feeling of seeing yourself and feeling disconnected with the image. Feeling bad about what you see, or just really negative.
Just know, YOU ARE worthy of loving yourself. You are welcome here.
You are beautiful and you deserve love.
You sound exactly like me, except the boyfriend and the cutting.
I feel for you!
Hej asiya, I know these feelings. I’ve got bulimia for 33 years now after three years of anorexia. And to get down the bad feelings I started to drink alcohol, much too much. I’ve got teenage daughters and every time they tell me that they don’t like something about their body I remember my teenage time. Self love really is the key and many of us are learning and practising… If everything is going well it’s easy but if not… You are beautiful, we all are beautiful! Sometimes we just can’t see 
You are strong and you are loved
A big hug for you!
PS I am german and my English sometimes is too🙂
It may be worth keeping notes here every day, thanks for the tip!
Your words of support mean a lot to me. I never thought that accepting yourself and loving yourself is so hard. I hope that now you are in perfect order and adhere to the sobriety program! You are a great man!
Your support really means a lot to me! I thank you for that. You are a wonderful person who gives light!
How do you feel now?
Another wonderful person! How are you now with such disorders? I’m actually not used to getting support, because in Russia there is no such support. it’s more a mark that you are not like that, you are wrong 
А big hug for you too!!
I hear u and understand u. I also have very low physical self esteem, I keep no photos of myself, avoid mirrors, have never used a real pic as an avatar. I have also had disordered eating (eating a lot then trying to be sick, taking medicine to go to the toilet, starving myself) and cut myself or hit my head. It got especially bad at university too. There must be some mental health help u can get at the university. To help the problem u must learn self-acceptance at least, if self-love is hard at first.
Well it sounds to me like you might have a serious eating disorder and self harming disorder which can lead to even more problems… If I were you… I would educate myself on those disorders… I would handle it in a very similar way to handling all other addiction… I would admit I had a serious issue (which you have done), I’d set some timers… The more you vomit and or go without eating, the more your brain can become damanged… Not trying to scare you, it’s progression in the wrong way doing yourself like that… I’d try to find out why I’m feeling that way about myself through educating myself on those disorders via the net, YouTube, books from the school library etc… I would try to talk to someone, perhaps a counselor maybe… I would look at my family life and friendships and how I’m affected by them… I would check in here as often as I needed to and take my life back because I’m worth it, so are YOU… You are wonderfully created just the way you are, it’s just hard to understand that right now… I’m glad you are here… Welcome to TS… 
PS your English is just fine… I’m my opinion anybody that can speak a second language, sign or use Braille is absolutely brilliant!!! 
For me reading and writing in this group is my first asking for help. All the time I thought I could solve it on my own. For some time it worked but I relapsed. But I found some really helpful things (for me). There is Yoga, I do classes in YouTube, my children often hug me just because it feels good, I like walks outside and reading books.
Taking a bath and oiling my body really carefully, doing mirror work, growing plants. I also discovered green smoothies which help me to deal better with cravings. I’m still relapsing but the time between gets longer and longer. I stopped cutting my skin because I couldn’t answer the questions.
Do you get enough hugs? Do you have access to special books and do you havethe occasion for doing sports? Find out what you can do for yourself to feel good. Sometimes there are little things like singing, dancing to a favourite song, a cup of a nice smelling tea… whatever you helps to feel good in your body. Be hugged, you wonderful being 