Hi Im julie and i am having some troubles with myself. Prior to 2022 i was sober two-years and doing great. In january 2022 the first man i dated after 10 years single lied to me. He was hospitalized with covid and when i tried to go see him at the hospital, i was told i should ask his spouse for information. Thats how i found out he was married.
After that i was devastated and i drank. I have not been able to stop ever since. My life has fallen apart, all the relationships i had rebuilt, my perfect credit score. Ive put myself in debt and have isolated my son so i can drink in my room alone loke i used to before. I got sober on zoom and have tried to just go to meetings but once 5 or 6 o clock hits, all i can think about is alcohol.
I need help or i am going to lose my home and my life. This time around im doing reckless things like i did not even do before.
I need help and i dont know what to do. I start a new job tomorrow and im afraid im going to screw it if i keep drinking. I know i will. Anyone that can help, id appreciate it from the bottom of my soul.
Hi Julie. First, I am sorry you have been lied to like that. Finding out on the way to the hospital must have been very hard. Itâs definately not worth losing everything youâve worked for over. You have been on the sober path before, so you know already you can do it. No reason, why you shouldnât be able to get back to sobriety again. For now, can you find an in real life meeting somewhere where you live? Maybe around 5 or 6 pm? Call a friend, go for a walk with someone or go to the gym to distract yourself from the cravings? Take if one step at a time. I know youâve got it in you.
Pandita offered some good suggestions. Find more meetings if you can. Focus on healthy things for your body and mind. It is natural to feel stress with a new job, but you can do this. Come here and read and reach out if you need to, but do not drink. You are worth so much more.
Hi Julie! Wow what a shock that mustve been for u when u found that info out. He wasnt an honest man thats for sure. I jear the sadness and hopelessness in ur post, but not all is lost. U havent lost these things yet and from hearing that u had 2 years sober, u know some things already on how to get sober, bcuz uv done it before. What worked for u back then? Did u go to in person mtgs? Did u have a HP? Did u have a morning recovery routine? New hobbies?
I find that a morning routine helps me along with activites like exercise and hobbies. I incorporate prayer as well and do a gratitude list. It sort of sets my day up to be a better one. I also have a reminder list of thr resons why i quit so that i can remember when i have urges to use. I think u asking for help on here is great! Right now is just a hurdle that u gotta get over and once i get ur momentum going again for recovery, it will get easier to stay sober. We are all here to help u
I am not great with in person meetings because of anxiety but this is worse than anxiety. I am looking now for something. I was in NYC before and could find a meeting every hour on the hour. Now i am in CT and it is not the same. Places have maybe two meetings a day. I know the path. How do i get back on it
Thank you for your words. I am having trouble seeing anything but a drink in the afternoons. All day i am planning that fight. I cant live like this anymore.
Thank you! My then sponsor tried to get me into some routines but my HP is not as she views it so i wouldnt take the suggestions. But i prayed and meditated. I think exercise will help me, if i can only get to the gym then way i run to the liquor store 10 minutes before closing time. How do you set up your gratitude reminder, maybe i can set one up to go off every 15 minutes after 5pm so i cant forget.
Thank you for your support. I am just feeling lost. To go from not thinking about alcohol months on endto having it be what i plan my day around has been the worst.
Hey there, Iâm sorry that youâre struggling, and that you were lied to like that. He is certainly not worth your sobriety, or the life that youâve built.
It sounds like you need to recommit yourself to YOU again, rather than letting your worth be determined by another personâs loyalty (or lack there of) to you. How about getting loyal to yourself again? Iâm not sure if you have issues with codependency, but it might be worth looking into âCofependent No Moreâ by Melanie Beattie if you think that might be part of whatâs going on.
You mentioned a sponsor from your previous sobriety, can you call them back up? They might be able to help you dive back in.
Julie, when I was desperate to stop drinking and stay sober, I needed lots of help. The very first step I took was to call my doctor and get a prescription for Antabuse. I had bad sundown cravings, too, but my resolve was high in the morning. So taking my medicine in the morning was easy to do, and knowing at 5:00 that if I drank I would get violently ill made it easy for me to see my counselor at that time or just go home for a nutritious meal.
Whatever your sobriety date is, even if it is today, hold onto it with both hands. Youâll be glad you did.
I use my phones alarm to remind me to do certain things like meditate or to do a gratitude list etc. U can set one for 5pm and set one for 515pm then 530pm etc. Ull have alot of diff alarms but then at least ull get ur list done
I have never considered the medications route. I am not big on pills but that may be better. Its 444 pm and those feelings are popping up of wanting to run out
But i will not leave my house until after 6 if necessary only. Thats when liquor stores close on sunday in my town.
Thats great! Ur doing amazing! Now just keep doing this each day and make sure u come on here FIRST if ur having a craving or urge to drink, so we can all help
Dear @Sweetlillove Iâm sorry you were treaten so badly.
Like @Butterflymoonwoman mentioned and you did, setting alarms is something that works for me too. What also helps me is HALT. Checking out HALT often revealed that Iâm hungry around 5 p.m. without noticing it. Or thirsty. Or both. And when the sun sets I sometimes start to feel lonely. To sit with this feelings and do something healthy to comfort me helps me a lot.
Sending you good vibes for starting the new job
I am so sorry you went thru that. I understand it would knock you for six. But that man doesnât deserve to take ur sobriety from you. You were sober before, you can do it again. Go back to basics, hitting online meetings at the danger evening time, planning a schedule so you have to time or inclination to drink. âMake your life too big to fit in a bottleâ.
Thank you for your words! I have survived my first sleepless sober night. Alcohol has been putting me to bed and i think my circadian rhythm must be off track since its been artificially going to sleep from drunkness.
Its funny i thought of HALT tonight because i know sleep deprived it will be alot easier to succumb to temptation. I will not let myself get hungry ,angry , bored, or even over excited. All these things trigger me to think i need, or deserve a drink.
Iâm so proud of you!! Keep it up 
