A Spiritual Principle A Day / Daily Meditation

Motivation
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1 OCTOBER

Compassion as Contrary Action

Our instinct is to meet disease with disease, but when we meet it with love and compassion instead, we create an opportunity for recovery.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition One, “For Members”

As harmonious as we may wish Narcotics Anonymous to be, there are times when another member’s behavior really gets under our skin and seems to demand that we respond in kind. Maybe they tear into us verbally or try to goad us into a physical altercation. A member’s actions can place our meeting’s location in danger. We’ve also seen members try to undermine a group decision, and when it doesn’t go their way, take to social media to bad‐mouth NA. And what about members who act in these ways but never make amends for their behavior? How dare they mess with our serenity?!

Our first impulses will likely be to respond to another’s resentment, selfishness, or accusations—with our own. We can, however, cool our own fury—and consider its source. Meeting another’s disease with compassion means that we suspend judgment. We try to separate the person from their disease. Maybe they’re going through a rough time. Maybe we unintentionally disrespected them, and they don’t know how to express their pain in another way. Maybe they are afraid of being wrong and looking uncool in the face of controversy. Maybe they’re just misinformed. And maybe we’re more alike than we care to admit. Bingo! At the end of the day, we are all recovering as best we can.

Having compassion for another doesn’t mean we ignore issues that arise. With unity as a priority, we end up practicing a lot more acceptance than our disease would otherwise have it. We may not understand where someone is coming from, but we can recognize the feelings and relate. Ideally, our response will consider what’s best for the common good.

With practice, we spend a little less energy contemplating how we might meet disease with disease. We learn the benefits of responding with compassion instead.

Next time someone flips out on me or the group, I’ll test out meeting them with compassion instead of my ego. What’s best for the group is best for my recovery.

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2 OCTOBER

Trust Is a Conscious Decision

Even though we do not know how our lives will change as we work this step, we can learn to trust that our Higher Power will care for us better than we could.

—It Works, Step Three

As newcomers, many of us struggle with the aspects of twelve‐step recovery that we don’t easily understand. Sure, spirituality is practical around here, but that doesn’t mean it’s straightforward. We describe our spiritual awakenings to newer members, but the explanations often make for more head‐scratching. With most things in life—and count Step Three among these—we can’t know the outcome before having the experience. The meaning of our decision to turn our will over to a caring Higher Power is lost on many of us. Instead of applying our brainpower, we need to nurture hope, faith, and trust.

Hearing about the changes in the lives of other addicts gives us something to go on as we begin to develop some trust in NA. We listen to other members talk about trusting in a Higher Power they don’t completely understand. We hear from people of faith, people who eschew religion, and everyone in between. According to one member, “Working Step Three is a decision to open a door. I may not know what’s on the other side, but I’ve gained a measure of trust in that decision because I know my life hasn’t fallen apart whenever I’ve cracked open that door.”

Trust is a conscious decision we put into action daily in some way or another by sidelining fear and taking a risk. We do our best, but some days acting as if we trust in a Higher Power is all we have to go on. Lots of us abide by a “fake it ’til ya make it” attitude. Along with faith, we take a leap of trust. Sometimes we fly; sometimes we flop. Growth can be a bruising process. We experience rejection or not getting what we’d planned for so carefully. “Sometimes the gifts we receive in recovery come wrapped in dirt,” a member teased. But we’re okay because we’re learning to trust the process. We’ll turn it over again tomorrow.

I don’t have to rely on what I think I know because I am learning to trust. Whatever happens today, I’ll practice loosening my grip on results and muster some faith that I’ll be okay.

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3 OCTOBER

Surrendering to Group Conscience

How do you know when it’s time to speak up against a decision of the majority? When it’s time to accept a decision and surrender to group conscience?

—Twelve Concepts for NA Service, Study Materials, “Ninth Concept”

Once a group or service body makes a decision, we are all supposed to go with the flow, right? But what if the decision goes against our gut, isn’t in harmony with the Traditions, lacks compassion by excluding some members, or puts a Band‐Aid on a larger issue? Maybe the decision wasn’t made with all pertinent information available. Was it truly an informed group conscience, or was it more like a popularity contest? What if we know for sure that the content of the decision has been tried before and it failed miserably? What if the group is wrong and we are right?

We have a process, and once that process is complete, to thwart group conscience creates disunity and confusion. Members then have to take sides, or not. Some leave the group or resign from their position instead, telling us “personal recovery depends on NA unity” on the way out.

The Ninth Concept of NA Service is clear that hearing all points of view is essential to developing a group conscience. But it’s up to us as members to determine which perspectives have the most validity. The time to accept and surrender to a decision occurs immediately after our point of view has been heard, and the group elects to stay the course—despite what our gut is telling us.

If we are right and things fall apart later, we can be part of the solution—with humility. Even as we are reminded time and time again that we’re not always right, we must also accept that others are sometimes wrong and there isn’t anything we can do about it.

Today I will participate in NA service with as much surrender and acceptance as possible. If need be, I will say to my group, “Well, I hope I’m wrong!” and do my best to mean it.

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4 OCTOBER

Hope and a New Way Forward

Hope begins when we think that it might be possible for us to stop using against our own will and stay clean.

—Living Clean, Chapter 7, “Living Our Principles”

By the time many of us show up to our first meeting, we have broken the trust of many people in our lives. For some of us, there wasn’t a single person left in our lives who would believe us even if we told them the sun rises in the east. No matter how many people we burned in active addiction, over and over again, one person was more likely than any to be skeptical of anything we said—ourselves.

This is one of the huge stumbling blocks that stops many of us from truly feeling hope when we first get clean. We know ourselves! We can’t be trusted. Sometimes people in our lives looked at the way we used and accused us of having no willpower, but the truth of the matter was that we had so much self‐will that we had lost all freedom to choose. There was no space between our impulses and our actions. Getting clean? Sure, no problem—we can do that just fine; that is, just until we feel like using. Then, all bets are off.

One of the most courageous things we have to do in order to get clean is to allow a little bit of hope into our spirit, defying all of the evidence to the contrary we have amassed in our active addiction. People who use the way we use don’t get clean. But then, we find ourselves in rooms filled with people who used the way we used. And they’re clean . . . allegedly. Maybe, is it possible?

Self‐will, impulsive behavior, obsession, and compulsion—even though many of us came to NA blaming the world around us for our problems, a lot of us felt, deep down, that we were too flawed to have the lives we wanted. In NA, we found people with flaws just as deep as ours, and they taught us how to become free.

It’s hard to see a way forward when I am standing in my own way. I will let other addicts show me how to step aside and find a way out.

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5 OCTOBER

Powerlessness, Step One, and Tradition Five

The First Step of Narcotics Anonymous is unique. Rather than addressing a single symptom or substance, we admit our powerlessness over the disease that drives us.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition Five, “For Members”

Depending on who’s telling the story, our First Step’s focus on the disease was either (A) a stroke of genius, (B) tremendous good luck, (C) the work of a Higher Power, or (D) all of the above. Our founding members knew that identifying a specific drug as the object of our powerlessness wouldn’t work for this motley crew. They were intent on creating a place for all drug addicts, where all of us could find identification. If refraining from naming a substance had been their only concern, our First Step might have just stated that we’re powerless over drugs. Instead, Step One points to the disease of addiction as our problem.

Powerlessness over the disease gives our First Step lasting relevance. Our focus on addiction—instead of an apparent symptom—makes Step One as relatable before we detox as it is when we have decades clean. Sure, drug use was the most prominent and destructive manifestation of the disease, but unmanageability can bubble to the surface long after we’ve stopped using. When reaching outside ourselves to fix what’s within seems like a good idea, we may be in trouble. “When I admit my powerlessness, I interrupt that outward reach and turn to my Higher Power instead,” one member observed. Surrendering to the First Step acts as a circuit breaker on our diseased thinking. This pause in the action is what’s needed for us to dodge some unmanageability.

Step One’s ongoing relevance influences how we think about the Fifth Tradition, too. Knowing we’re all eligible to be the still‐suffering addict reminds us to be more inclusive as we address our primary purpose. War stories may illustrate the unmanageability in our past, but our present‐day, squeaky‐clean powerlessness also deserves some attention.

Talking about our struggles confirms that last element of our message: We keep coming back and keep finding a new way to live.

I will recognize my powerlessness in some present‐day situation, flipping the circuit breaker on some distorted thinking and opening myself to spiritual solutions.

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6 OCTOBER

Safety, Security, Solidarity

The safe environment of NA gave me the chance to face my own fear. . . .

The security and solidarity that I get from the program gave me room to breathe.

—Basic Text, Coming Home, “Sandwich”

We aren’t all strangers to experiences of solidarity before getting clean. Frequently, however, our safety was tied to keeping our mouths shut, a code of conduct that valued secrecy over good judgment. We’d have your back, all right, as long as that kept us safe and our behavior under wraps. We were constantly looking over our shoulders, barely breathing for fear of getting caught.

Coming to NA is, on some level, a rejection of our previous sense of security, an admission that we need help. Many of us are holding our breath when we enter the room of our first NA meeting. We fear we’ll see people we had used with, people we’d wronged, people who might out us as addicts outside the meeting. Immediately, we see the appearance of solidarity in meetings, but can we trust it? We are encouraged to share about our past, what’s going on with us today, and what we envision a new life to be. But when we are used to solidarity having so many variables, how do we know it’s stable and secure now?

In time, we breathe a sigh of relief, realizing we’ve made it home. A renewed consideration of solidarity may be to view NA as a group of survivors collectively fighting our disease, bonded by our recovery. We’re told that we don’t have to go through anything alone, and, as we witness that very thing happening among members, eventually we allow ourselves to become a part of it. We strive to overcome our fears of not fitting in, of being vulnerable and intimate with others, of being honest and open and still. Sometimes we’re successful in these attempts; other times not. But, make no mistake, we are in this together, striving to make NA a safer place for every addict seeking a place to belong.

As I continue to face my own fears, now in solidarity with my fellow NA members, I will make every effort to give others the same chance to breathe that I was given.

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It arrived! :heart:

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7 OCTOBER

Harmony, Alignment, and Balance

When our bodies, minds, and spirits are in harmony, our lives show the difference. We are able to live in balance.

—Living Clean, Chapter 3, “A Spiritual Journey”

Addicts arrive in—or return to—NA with our lives in turmoil and out of balance. Our health is in the toilet. Mentally, we are all over the map. Spiritually, we are in a blackout.

Though we may not all be at the same degree of chaos, no one bounds happily through the door of their first NA meeting—or our first one after a relapse—feeling stable and whole. We stagger or slink or sidle in. We come to NA after a brush with the law and sometimes while incarcerated. We’re pushed in by family or rehab or dragged in by an NA member we used to get high with—or stayed clean with. There’s some truth in the familiar wisecrack, “We are some sick puppies!”

Since our journeys in recovery most often begin with the elimination of substances, our health often improves first. Our minds dip back into friendly territory, though the visits may not be as long as we’d like. Through attending meetings, working Steps, and building relationships with other members, we begin to awaken spiritually. Not all of us label it that way, or maybe we don’t have words for it, but something inside of us is shifting. Outside of us, our behavior is definitely shifting. By taking commitments, showing up for others, acting “right,” we stay clean.

Whether we believe this is the work of a loving Higher Power or we’re doing it because our sponsor told us to (because it’s “spiritual”), our inner chaos lessens, and our outward stability increases. The lights come on, and they aren’t so easily extinguished by the wind and rain that keep coming at us—because that’s life.

I will take stock today of how I am physically, mentally, and spiritually. What can I do to establish some balance and spark some harmony?

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8 OCTOBER

Accepting Others

Our attitude ought to be one of loving acceptance toward all addicts, regardless of any other problems they may experience.

—It Works, Tradition Three, “Applying spiritual principles”

Many of us crawl into our first meetings totally paranoid and not having bathed for weeks or fresh from getting high in the hallway bathroom. Or we’re surrounded by a 50‐foot concrete wall with DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO ME graffitied across it. Others slink in with a court card, counting days until they can get back to the business of getting and staying high. Still others waltz in, heads held high with enough entitlement, defensiveness, and been‐there‐done‐that to fill all the dried‐up wells in hell.

Tradition Three tells us that the only requirement for NA membership is a desire to stop using. It calls on members to welcome anyone who enters the room. But how do we know that someone else really has the desire to get clean? How do we measure it? We can’t.

No addict is a sure bet for staying clean, and none of us can predict the future. We all know that perpetual newcomer who everyone thought would never “get it”—until they did. And what about the other situation we never saw coming? That revered oldtimer, who helped countless newcomers to dismantle their 50‐foot walls, did every service commitment, and was the most beloved circuit speaker—until they relapsed.

It’s human nature to judge each other and compare ourselves to determine where we fit. But it’s only our personal recovery that we can truly assess and take responsibility for. And one of the most important measures of that recovery is our willingness to accept others for who they are—not for who we think they should be—just as we were accepted.

Despite my judgments, I will practice our Third Tradition by accepting and welcoming others, regardless of their appearance, circumstances, or reputation.

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9 OCTOBER

Staying Open‐Minded to New Ideas

Being open‐minded allows us to hear something that might save our lives. It allows us to listen to opposing points of view, and come to conclusions of our own.

—Basic Text, Chapter 9: Just for Today—Living the Program

There are a lot of opinions in NA about NA, and yet, there are few beliefs about recovery in Narcotics Anonymous that are universally held by all of us. Certainly, we are an abstinence‐based program, and the NA basics are made clear in our literature: meetings, Steps, sponsorship, service, and a relationship with a Higher Power. Our primary purpose of carrying the message to other addicts is also plainly stated. In addition to our Steps, we have the Traditions and Concepts to assist us in meeting that purpose.

While NA’s basics are explicit, how we apply them is not. As newcomers, we are told to listen as if our lives depended on it—because they do. It is through practicing open‐mindedness that we can find our personal journey in recovery using the basics in the ways that work best for us. When we’re new, we have no idea how to work a program of recovery—though sometimes we think we do and have no problem saying so. Mostly, we rely on sponsors and other more experienced members to show us how they do it. This is where some members’ very passionate and sometimes opposing views arise—for example, how many meetings we should be attending, how to work Step Ten, or how long to hang on to a service position. But there’s no exact blueprint for working a program of recovery, no model of the recovering addict. All we know is what has worked for us.

The longer we stay clean, the more difficult it can become to stay open‐minded, curious, and flexible. True, we find things that work for us and keep doing them. But we need to be mindful of becoming rigid in the face of our evolving lives. A new job or relationship or a sudden hardship might merit a different approach from what we’re used to. We may find ourselves, just as we did in early recovery, asserting what we think we know, instead of listening and being open to others’ perspectives and input. Wherever we are in our recovery, open‐mindedness doesn’t mean that we have to change our views or our actions, but it means we are listening and exploring different options.

When I find myself reluctant to hear others’ ideas, I’ll take note of what’s getting in the way. Then I’ll listen with an open mind and draw my own conclusions.

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10 OCTOBER

Connected to Our Purpose

We begin to feel connected to the world around us and our lives have purpose.

—Living Clean, Chapter 3, “Creative Action of the Spirit”

Disconnection is one of the hallmark features of addiction. Whether being disconnected leads to drug use, or the use of drugs causes us to lose connection, most of us ended up feeling pretty isolated and alienated by the time we first came to NA. Some of us feel connected right away when we get clean. Others keep coming back for months or years to get there—but when we stop using and start living the program, that sense of connection begins to grow.

“The members who immediately directed me to service helped me feel like I had purpose,” one member wrote. “They carried a message to me, and then right away they involved me in carrying a message to others. I became part of something bigger. I felt connected in a way I hadn’t felt before.”

What we connect to and what our purpose is may not be the same for every addict or for every phase of recovery. Feeling reconnected to humanity by virtue of being an NA member is a big part of early recovery for many of us—and we find an abundance of meaning and purpose in sharing our recovery with other addicts. Usually, as long as we’re still clean and still coming to meetings, this sense of purpose stays with us. But more is available, too.

Many of us develop a sense of connection and purpose in other areas of our lives, as well. We may get involved in a particular religious practice, begin volunteering in our community, or find meaning and beauty in art, fashion, fitness, or a career. The opportunities to find purpose in our lives are as varied as our membership, and they need not diminish the sense of purpose we gain by sharing with others in NA. In fact, they often enhance what we have to offer.

Where addiction is isolation and alienation, recovery is connection and purpose. I will seek out greater connection to the world around me to deepen my sense of purpose in it.

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11 OCTOBER

Thoughtfulness Is a Gift

When we share in a meeting and the room is quiet, attentive, and present to us—that’s a priceless gift.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition One, “For Groups”

Thoughtfulness is baked into the culture of NA meetings. We take turns sharing, and we share the time. The rest of us participate by listening, though that doesn’t necessarily mean we do so in silence. Many of us find healing in the laughter we share. That phrase— “participate by listening”—is sometimes used as a polite way to decline when called upon to share. But it’s more than that—it’s a real and valid option. Listening is an act of love.

When we’re new, our chameleon‐like instincts set us up for thoughtful and empathetic listening. Even as we focus on blending in, we find ourselves responding instinctively with laughter, knowing nods, tearful eyes, or words of affirmation and encouragement. We bring the body, and the mind follows; we might start by faking empathy, only to realize we’re acting our way into better thinking. We find ourselves establishing new values. When we thoughtfully listen and engage, we show ourselves and each other that our stories matter.

Practicing thoughtfulness can really be as simple as “kind thoughts, kind words, kind deeds,” as one member put it. “My outlook changes when I’m looking for that magic moment when some small act will make a difference for someone else. When I lift someone else up, we both feel better.” Our thoughtfulness is a gift we give and receive. It contributes to our sense of belonging and helps us to experience unity.

I will look to be more thoughtful today. I will offer my undivided attention, a kind word, or a compliment in the hope of making someone else’s day a little better.

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12 OCTOBER

Practicality in Action

It’s not what we think about our recovery that matters; it’s what we do.

—Living Clean, Chapter 1: Living Clean, Opening Essay

When we first come into recovery, we may think everyone in the room is lying. A member recalled thinking, “They can’t possibly be that happy . . . and really, no one can stay clean for 30 years, let alone 30 days in a row.” We may even tell ourselves there is no way we can stop using and have a fulfilling life. Despite our internal monologue, we continue showing up to meetings and putting some cleantime together. We take suggestions, pick up a commitment, get a sponsor, and begin working Steps—all the while thinking, This won’t work for me. We do our best to ignore that devious little voice inside us. After all, what we have been doing up to this point hasn’t really been working either.

As we take these practical actions, the heaviness lifts from our hearts. We experience moments of joy and freedom—clean. We realize that we have been doing all of the things we’d told ourselves were not possible. Now we have six months clean and our lives are so much fuller than we thought they could be. When we share in meetings, we realize that we’ve become those people who we thought were lying to us.

One of the most practical things we do is to show up and tell the truth about our lives. When we no longer need to fabricate stories and justifications, it frees up a lot of mental energy. We share our victories, our process, and our mess as they are happening. While the disease still talks to us, nowadays our recovery also chimes in to remind us that we’re right where we’re supposed to be.

Doing the footwork frees us to live in the present. We have a solid foundation and a network of connections in our recovery community. Our world has become fuller and more fulfilling. We have found a family in Narcotics Anonymous. We want more of these gifts, so we continue to put one foot in front of the other, doing the things that brought us to this point.

I will take a practical approach to my recovery today. I’ll thank “the committee” in my head for sharing and take positive actions that enhance my recovery and my life.

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13 OCTOBER

Not Too Cool to Be Willing

Our ability to enjoy our lives is directly related to our willingness to let go of our self‐obsession.

—Living Clean, Chapter 7, “Love”

The very idea of dancing without some chemical courage sounds intimidating if not absurd when we’re newly clean. Clubbing might have been in the early chapters of our stories, but as fun turned into fun with problems and later into simply problems, any dancing we did was more often about commerce than enjoyment. Going to our first NA dance, therefore, can be a rite of passage, especially for those of us who danced for fun or a fix in our using days.

As the saying goes, “We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.” We might warm up to the idea by lurking outside with the smokers after a speaker meeting. A familiar face from meetings asks if we’re going in. Not wanting to disappoint, we lean into willingness and say, “Ugh. Okay.”

We might muster enough willingness to get through the door and still come up short when it’s time to dance. We’ll be lining the walls: too tough, too cool, too self‐absorbed to give dancing clean a try. When and if we do, the self‐doubt of adolescence returns to inquire, “Am I doing this right? Do I look attractive?” and other obnoxious questions that poke at our insecurities.

We retreat to the bathroom where we encounter a home‐group member. They practically read our minds and offer this sage advice: “Remember that we’re all self‐obsessed. I just assume that everyone’s too busy thinking about themselves to worry about my dancing.” This practical advice helps us combat our self‐obsession and find the willingness to get back out on the dance floor.

It’s not as though our preoccupation with ourselves ends with one NA dance. If we’re paying attention, though, there’s a lesson on willingness that we can apply to other pursuits. Acknowledging that if we’re thinking about ourselves, we’re not really enjoying what we’re doing is a good place to start. With that, we can rally the willingness to release those unhelpful self‐concerns that are the enemy of joy.

I won’t let self‐obsession constrain my choices or limit my joy today. I will set aside unhealthy thinking that interferes with being in the moment and enjoying life clean. Might as well dance.

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14 OCTOBER

Restraint as an Expression of Freedom

Just staying in our seat without checking our phone or creating side conversation can be surprisingly difficult, especially when we are having feelings we’d rather avoid.

—Guiding Principles, Tradition Six, Opening Reflection

The idea of a bunch of addicts sitting in a room together showing restraint sounds like the start of a bad joke, but, hey, recovery in NA is full of miracles! It’s truly an achievement that we’re able to create and sustain an atmosphere of recovery considering our individual and collective capacity for being distracted. Many of us have to work especially hard to sit with any degree of stillness and patience—and just be present—because of how our brains work or, of course, how new we are. And yes, there are many tools and avenues that may divert our attention from our primary purpose in a meeting—our smartphones, our fellow addicts, a noise outside, a technological glitch, a moment of boredom or overstimulation. Out of respect for the speaker, the newcomer, our group, and ourselves, we try to stay focused.

Showing restraint in this manner is the respectful thing to do.

There are other times when our diversion is a sign of something deeper, and our tendency to deny or avoid our feelings gets ignited. Identifying with a member’s share can be a lovely moment of connection, but it can also make us want to crawl out of our skin. We addicts seem to be allergic to discomfort, and yet pushing through it will often bring us to a place of more profound comfort—with ourselves and our surroundings. Glancing at our phone won’t give us that. It does help to have some guidance here, as not all discomfort has that potential to be productive. We need a sponsor and other trusted NA members to help us distinguish between a moment when we should rein in our desire to scoot and stay with our feelings—and when we should honor our need to remove ourselves from a potentially harmful situation.

Restraint is an expression of freedom. The freedom “to do” is also the freedom “not to do.” I’ll practice that today by not being rude or running from my feelings.

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15 OCTOBER

Giving Generously, Expecting Nothing

One small act of generosity can work wonders . . .

—It Works, Step Twelve

When we talk about “keeping what we have by giving it away” in NA, many of us are thinking about the way we freely share our experience, strength, and hope. After all, sharing is one of the most obvious ways in which we carry our message. But it isn’t the only way. We often don’t realize how we affect others simply by showing up and being ourselves.

“I sometimes go to an out‐of‐town meeting when I’m visiting family,” a member wrote. “A woman I didn’t recognize celebrated two years clean. She came up to me after the meeting and told me I remembered her name at her first meeting two years ago. She said she felt seen for the first time in a long time, and that’s why she kept coming back.”

Experiences like this are incredibly common in NA. Most of us still have a memory of a small act of kindness shown to us in our early recovery. We carry that kindness and generosity forward—sometimes without even noticing that we are doing it. Other times, it’s very much a purposeful and deliberate choice we make to ensure that newcomers have a chance to feel the love we felt. “I can’t tell you how many Basic Texts I have bought in all the years I’ve been clean. And I still have just a single copy.”

Giving of ourselves in acts of empathy is what we do in NA. We carry the message when we share in meetings, and we carry the message by being who we are in all that we do as members of NA. Whether it’s holding the door open for someone coming into a meeting for the first time, holding a friend’s hand as they share about a difficulty they are going through, or holding space for others to hear the message in their own time—our generosity can work wonders.

Part of recovery is giving generously and expecting nothing in return. I will give freely today, knowing I might not see the reach of my generosity.

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16 OCTOBER

Honesty Versus Denial’s Fancy Footwork

When we fully concede to our innermost selves that we are powerless over our addiction, we have taken a big step in our recovery.

—Basic Text, Chapter 5: What Can I Do?

One member shared their favorite NA metaphor: “Fighting our addiction without recovery is like entering the ring with the boxing world champion. We think we can get in just one good punch, but repeatedly we’re pummeled to the ground. After many tries, we finally concede that the disease will eventually knock our lights out permanently. Admitting powerlessness is the first of many strategies we’ll need to fight it.”

It didn’t matter how practiced we were in our fancy footwork of denial. No matter our clever cunning, our brute strength, or our fearlessness in the face of danger, we did not succeed in managing our drug use. We lost that fight and came to NA cut, bruised, and beaten down. Admitting “I am an addict” the first time and many times thereafter is a big step, but to fully concede our powerlessness, we go deeper than that honest admission.

Our first approach to Step One shows the value of getting honest. Honesty loosens our grip on denial and unlocks surrender. In time, the same line of attack will help us examine other areas of our lives. As we work the Steps, we discover more truths about our innermost selves. Other members help us make sense of what we find and, eventually, we’re able to help others do the same.

The member continued with their metaphor: “The recovery process involves struggle, strategy, and triumph. Striving for complete honesty and ongoing surrender, we have a fighting chance. But we never fully retire from the ring.”

Years on, we’ll struggle with new (or old) areas of our lives where our nemesis of denial rears up again. We get in the ring—and bam! We get hit with a lights‐out combo of relationships, sex, or other compulsive behaviors. Confronting our denial about these issues, surrendering and admitting powerlessness in these arenas—and doing the necessary work—furthers our progress in recovery. To stay clean, we have to.

I don’t need to get back in the ring with the champ or suffer denial’s low blows to know there’s still work to do. With the Steps as my strategy, I won’t be beat down.

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17 OCTOBER

Commitment to Our Common Welfare

In joining together in a commitment to the greater good of Narcotics Anonymous, our own welfare is enhanced beyond measure.

—It Works, Tradition Twelve

We are people who have a fair amount of direct personal experience with single‐minded devotion to a particular cause. Before we came to NA, the cause to which we were so devoted was getting and using drugs. Or, perhaps more precisely, we were committed to our efforts to change the way we felt, predict or control our feelings, or try to stop feeling altogether.

Once we find NA and surrender to the process of recovery, we begin to shift our devotion from changing how we feel to staying clean, no matter what we feel. Commitment means sticking with something even after our enthusiasm for it wanes or our mood changes. We commit to our own recovery, and we commit to serving NA. Often it starts simply with choosing a home group and committing to attend regularly. We take a formal commitment, such as greeter or clean‐up person. Commitment involves both our feelings and actions.

Because we are grateful for our recovery, we feel a sense of commitment to helping NA. That feeling shows in what we do for the greater good of the Fellowship.

For many of us, our commitment to NA is a result of what the program has given us. As we give back, we receive much more. The first gift is the chance to stay clean and find a better way to live. We make many commitments to NA—showing up regularly, being part of one another’s recovery, serving our group and service bodies. Our commitments help the Fellowship grow and thrive. The more vibrant and thriving Narcotics Anonymous is, the more we are able to flourish and grow in our own recovery.

When I follow through on my commitments to NA, the Fellowship is better for it—and so am I. I will honor my commitments today.

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18 OCTOBER

Faith When Times Are Tough

Getting through hard times strengthens our faith.

—Living Clean, Chapter 1, “Growing Pains”

Getting those first 30 days clean is a milestone for many reasons, not least of which is that it gives us some resolve to get 31, then 32, and so on. We didn’t think we could, but here we are. And the unpredictable journey continues . . . As difficult as that period of time may have been, we are going to need the faith that got us through it—a day at a time, sometimes an hour, or a minute—as life continues to reveal itself.

We may not view practicing faith as essential to our early recovery as it’s happening. In retrospect, we understand that it took faith to surrender, ask for help, and allow ourselves to be supported. Something else is revealed as well: We are stronger for it. That awareness becomes very useful when we experience life’s inevitable misfortunes. We’ve all doubted, at some point, that we can make it through certain challenges clean—death of a loved one, prison, divorce, severe illness, financial ruin, natural disasters; the list goes on. The longer we stay alive and clean, the more likely it is that we will be exposed to life’s hardships.

We watch others stay clean through the worst. We hear them share about the strength they’ve gained by relying on faith to pull through. Witnessing their resolve strengthens our own—and our faith in NA. If someone else can do it, we can, too. And we, who at one time were emotionally unavailable or unreliable in relationships, are now able to help people we love through their suffering.

It’s true that many of us have discovered that experiencing adversity can be one pathway toward gratitude, peace, and serenity. We grow through the pain. But let’s also be realistic about how this may manifest. Many of us will smile and have some relief to share. Others will undergo unbelievably crushing experiences that we will have to manage daily—at times, by the hour or minute—for the rest of our lives. Most days we will be able to get out of bed, go to work, care for our families, and help others. Some days, just continuing to stay on this earth will be the best we can offer. Recovery in NA doesn’t eliminate pain and suffering from our lives, but our faith gives us a way to endure it.

No matter what I’m going through, I have enough resolve to stay clean one more day. Today I have faith in NA and in myself.

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82

19 OCTOBER

Tapping into Creativity

. . . when we are spiritually connected, creativity flows through us. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we paint or make music (though it can), but that we can see solutions to problems and find satisfaction in doing whatever we do as best we can.

—Living Clean, Chapter 6, “Work”

Many of us develop a deeper spiritual connection as we dig into our stepwork, especially when we get to Step Eleven. We explore creative ways to meditate or connect to our Higher Power, and we discover multiple avenues for inspiration in our lives. Creative expression takes many forms.

One member shared, “Creativity is not just about art or music; it can be that spontaneous kind gesture we do for another human being.” We learn that it doesn’t cost a thing to carry our passion for living with us everywhere we go.

When we tap into a spiritual connection, it can be like hitting our stride in a marathon. Somehow the world seems quieter, and our purpose in it takes on new clarity. Our path through recovery comes into focus, and it leads us into lives filled with meaning. We find joy in being useful to others and enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done.

Our connection to our Higher Power helps us access our creativity and use it to amplify our service. We’re increasingly able to discern the quiet voice of our conscience, a voice many of us identify as a direct connection to our Higher Power. Letting our intuition guide our creative acts of kindness is an art in itself.

Today I will look for ways to harness my creativity in service to the Fellowship and the rest of humanity. I will cultivate my spiritual connection to allow creativity to flow through me.

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