Well, technically it started falling apart long before this time last year. But today a year ago my fiancé and I got a little too drunk celebrating his birthday we got into a massive fight. It wasnt too different from the others we always had. But this was following him ruining my birthday, and just constant fighting and hatred. It got violent. Some really really painful things were said. This resulted in me calling his mom to come keep him settled while i got as much of my stuff as possible. I packed everything i could fit in my car in trash bags and went to my moms house. i Stayed there for 2 months. In that 2 months things with his own addictions got worse, when we were supposed to be giving things time to heal. I completely went off the deep end I was drinking well past a handle of liquor in a span of 2 days at a time. To the point where eventually my liver failed. Today one year ago was the beginning of the hardest point in my life but i am also trying to remind myself that its the same day that I took my first steps towards sobriety and a better life. My photo memories pop up and its gut wrenching knowing what happened in between these happy photos, what happened after, and what happened in the next following months. Its been weighing on my mind really hevaily today. But its his birthday today. His first birthday sober in much much much longer than mine. I know my birthday last month was hard on me. So i imagine he is going through a lot on his own sobriety journey today. I did my best to push past my emotions and make sure he had a great day and felt supported like he did on my birthday. But on top of my heart hurting from healing from the trauma it also hurts for him. Me and his cousin are the only people who even told him happy birthday today. His mom called and asked what his plans were for mothers day, but didnt even mention his birthday to him. Broke my heart a little. Were getting though this as a team. And as a team weve made leaps and bounds. It just still hurts sometimes and its nice to have a safe space to vent about it even though it seems kind of silly to be so stuck in the past certain days.
You’re not stuck in the past. You’re working through what happened emotionally by feeling those feelings. That’s exactly what you should be doing.
Congratulations on your milestone, happy belated bday and keep doing what you’re doing. Sounds like you’re on the right path. 
Its ok to not be ok sometimes- give yourself permission and space for that…life doesnt stop being lifey because we are sober but it gives us the opportunity to work through things with a clear head, your a human being and whatever you feel is valid and ok, your doing great 
I’m very moved by your story and the pain and sadness you expressed. It sounds really difficult. But you’ve done so well if you’ve been sober for a year! As has he. Hang in there. You are on the right track. Try to stay on it.
Not quite a year, almost to 9 months. But this time last year was when it became super aware i needed to quit and i started trying at least. Thank you 
Thank you so much
Thank you! I so appreciate the kind words.